YOU MUST STOP AT THE END OF THIS SECTION!

Standardized tests. As a teacher, I wasted many a day administering these tools of the devil to children who, like their teachers and principals, were merely doing what they were told by those above them on the education totem. People talk a lot about local control of schools, but it's funny how widely accepted state mandated tests have become with barely a whimper of protest. 

The picture above is sort of quaint, pencil with bubble test. Tests are administered by computer now. Bland as hell. Unimaginative. Screen gazing. A broken pencil at least expresses something.

I did everything I could to let my middle school students know that their teacher didn't care about this test. I read the instructions in a comically threatening samurai voice ala John Belushi.

"YOU MUST STOP AT THE END OF THE SECTION AND CLOSE THE BOOKLET!"

We even created a class gesture to go along with a chant of "UP Your MAP Scores!", for which I probably could have been reprimanded if not fired. I remember the English Second Language (ESL) teacher asking me about it after a class full of Romanian and Vietnamese students displayed the gesture for her with great glee. What are you doing? Who taught you that? Ah, middle school.

Test prep included covering the door window with brown paper, which seemed ridiculous. Bulletin boards, possibly containing helpful info, were also covered. It felt like an intruder drill. The intruder, in this case, would be the Department of Elementary & Secondary Education (DESE). The weapon was the Missouri Assessment Program (MAP). No one was killed, but the learning environment was seriously wounded.

As an advocate for teachers and students living in the real world, I submit that the MAP test is the scourge of public education in this state. If parents were really paying attention and weren't stressing over their job, kids, bills, health issues, prison, being deported or worse, they would rise up and lead a massive boycott of MAP testing.

Do people realize that, by the time MAP scores are finally released, the teacher is already involved in a new school year with different students? It's like receiving the results from an autopsy to remind everyone that somebody died a year ago. Yet the autopsy proceeds, all hands on deck, until all the data is appropriately parsed and any accountability, especially at the administrative level, is assertively and effectively dodged.

If Score Are Low, If Scores Are High

If MAP scores are low, it's because we cannot measure what's truly important. If scores are high, we celebrate their importance and claim that our schools are successful.

Ask an administrator about standardized tests, and they'll sigh and say, "This is the world we live in," or some such thing. Then they'll busy themselves scouring test data for nuggets of insight. Lucky for them, the world we live in rewards them pretty well for their sighing compliance.

Inverse rule of measuring: If you cannot measure what's truly important, one must place undue importance on what can be measured.

MAP tests do not measure physical health, mental health, nutrition, resilience, creativity, kindness or compassion. Nor do they measure the acceptance and trust that grows between teacher and student, even those unfortunate enough to be working under pressure in state targeted schools.

Thought exercise: If a school is determined to be a failure through the lens of a failed assessment tool, can it then be deemed successful?

One Salient Piece of Data

This. Year after year: Students living in higher income areas have higher levels of proficiency. Students in poverty-stricken neighborhoods struggle with basic skills.

This is perhaps the one salient piece of data that every standardized test proves true, yet it is effectively swept under the rug by school boards and education leaders out of political expediency. A task force of usual suspects will surround the issue and provide a report. End of story.

Issues like minimum wage and Medicaid expansion that would make substantive differences for the poor are off limits and considered far too political, a tacit acknowledgement that our political/economic system still favors those living in the "proficient" neighborhoods.

No, we'll pay top dollar for an expert speaker on the effects of poverty. Their insights will amaze us. Teachers will be required to take mandatory sessions from a diversity expert (person of color) to help them learn how to talk to and teach poor kids. Early Childhood Education will be the answer, just you wait and see - along with generous charity grants for shoes and coats. The charity will receive high praise for their work. Look at those numbers!

Most poor kids are pre-disqualified from attending what are termed "choice" programs in my city. Discipline issues, you know. (No, it's not racial bias. We've trained the teachers.) And attendance, of course. Poor kids tend to move a lot, something completely out of their control. And even if they did qualify with good behavior and attendance, lack of transportation becomes the ultimate disqualifier.

For the most part, parents from poor neighborhood in this town cannot choose "choice" programs for their kids to attend. It's the same reason their kids don't participate in youth sports programs. They either can't afford it or can't get there, or both. As with standardized testing, it's just not set up for them