The Bizarre World of Rep. Ed Emery (R-Lamar)

In the strange, twisted world of state representative Edgar Emery (R-Lamar), there is no color gray, and he'd just as soon there were no brown either. Like many Republican legislators, he believes in the simple rule of law, right and wrong, cause and effect - there is a simple response to every action.

Emery, a staunch conservative who does little to hide his disdain for undocumented workers, currently serves, ironically enough, as chairman of the House Special Committee of Immigration Reform. At a recent hearing in Joplin, he spent the day listening to a host of Hispanic educator/advocates plead their case on behalf of immigrant workers.

During the afternoon session, several immigrant activists spoke quite eloquently about the plight of undocumented workers in the Ozarks - how Mexican agriculture collapsed after the implementation of NAFTA, how Mexican farmers were forced to look elsewhere for work in order to earn money to support their families - you know, family values.

Another immigrant advocate observed that most workers were taking on jobs that the vast majority of American workers didn't want. Yanking chicken guts eight hours a day at a Tyson plant is not considered a viable career choice for most white folks. One speaker pointed out that the human hand is the only device that can perform that particular task.

Emery, in his infinite wisdom, countered by proposing that perhaps immigrant workers were to blame for the lack of technological advances in the chicken-gutting industry - that a robotic hand may have already been invented to perform these tasks if it weren't for those pesky immigrants.

Emery and other panel members actually took up more air time than the speakers at the forum, which was unfortunate, since most who testified were far better versed in American history and economics than the panel members. Instead, Emery used the hearings as a bully pulpit for espousing his own cracker barrel ideas on American patriotism and ideals.

"You know, our immigration laws are in place to protect Americans, not Mexicans," Emery chided one speaker. "Mexico has their own immigration laws to protect their people."

And then, without provocation, an inexplicably emotional Emery spoke with quivering voice about the depth of his own patriotism, implying that immigrants were a underlying threat to America.

"I feel so strongly about maintaining our own American freedom, our love of liberty, that I would even be willing to sacrifice my own children in the defense of those ideals."

The room went silent. I wanted to ask him how many of his clan were currently serving in the military, but I was just an observer, and it would have spoiled a poignant moment. I did, however, take the opportunity to talk with Emery just after the meeting adjourned.

I asked him if he really thought that state laws would do anything to help solve a national problem. "Are you just wanting to establish some kind of state law that would push immigrants into Arkansas and Kansas?"

"Hopefully," Emery said with a smile. "And you know, this whole immigration problem would not even be an issue if it weren't for Roe vs. Wade."

"Excuse me?"

"Twenty million potential workers have been needlessly killed. We would not need any immigrant workers at all if those twenty million aborted fetuses were contributing to the economy."

So there you have it. The World According to Ed. In a perfect world, there would be no abortions and all those saved fetuses would be gleefully yanking chicken guts and picking vegetables in service to the American economy.

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Please vote for a rational human to represent you in the state legislature. It's more important now than ever.

Literacy Success Story #8

Literacy Success Story #8 - from the notes of a reading teacher working with illiterate adults. The year is 1989, and Barbara Bush, like so many dutiful first ladies, is pushing a big literacy campaign.

Student #122 - Doug, construction worker, Springfield, MO.

Doug, 23, came to the program to improve his reading so he could advance in the construction trade. He was a general laborer and needed to learn how to read plans and blueprints to have any chance of promotion. Doug drank a little and had recently become separated from his wife of five years and his two children. He was living on his own for the first time and fashioned himself as a bit of a ladies' man.

The program director took him on as a student until a good volunteer could step in, but since most of the good reading tutors were young women, it took a while. After three months of twice-weekly instruction, Doug was starting to make some progress, but his late night carousing was also starting to take its toll. He began canceling appointments.

It was at this time that a new reading tutor came along that was able to take over Doug's instruction. Diana was a tough biker chick that had been in the merchant marine and now tended bar at the Silver Leaf on Republic Road. She had dropped out of high school but had worked hard to pass the GED. She wanted to do something to help somebody and give something back.

Doug and Diana had been meeting for several weeks when the program director received a phone call from Doug. He was very upset. Apparently the tutoring sessions with Diana had gotten a little off topic, and he had somehow come down with a case of gonorrhea. Doug took this hard. His doctor had recommended an AIDS test as well, which scared the hell out of Doug given the fact that he'd fucked no fewer than a dozen women in the last three months - and he had to wait an excruciating two days for the test results.

To sum up, the test was negative, and Doug subsequently moved back in with his wife and kids, gave up drinking and found Jesus as his personal savior. Despite our best effort, Doug still couldn't read worth a damn, but the literacy program had once again yielded a stirring success story.

Aunt Norma's Dark Past

I was thumbing through some old Springfieldians and came across an interesting article that delves into state senator Norma Champion's early days at KYTV as host of the Children's Hour. Champion parlayed her television notoriety into a city council seat and eventually defeated Craig Hosmer in 2002.

Her record as a legislator has been, arguably, one of the least distinguished and vacuous in southwest Missouri political history. You can read more about Aunt Norma at All About Norma.

Anyway, back to the crack investigative reporting on Aunt Norma from Issue #1 (Summer 1992) of the Springfieldian.

"Champion hosted the popular Saturday morning children's show "The Children's Hour", sharing the stage with puppets, pets and shy, embarrassed children.

". . . While Champion's service on City Council raised no question of character, a closer look at Champion's television years may reveal another side of the candidate. . . .The controversy centers around a contractual dispute between KYTV and children's entertainer Skinny McGinnis, who performed along with Champion on The Children's Hour broadcasts.

Department of Labor documents indicate that McGinnis filed a complaint against KYTV in April of 1975, a year before the show went off the air. McGinnis, a lifelong resident of Bois D'Arc, now lives in a rehabilitation center in north Springfield and is openly bitter about his relationship with Champion.

"Oh, she was all smiles while the cameras were rolling and the kids were there," said McGinnis, who insisted no pictures be taken. "I was the main draw on the show, and everybody knew it. Me and Rusty. When we asked her to go to bat for us she laughed in our faces - called us glorified prophylactics. Rusty was crushed."

Rusty Rooser, McGinnis's life-long friend and co-star, fell upon hard times with the close of the Children's Hour. After touring the midwest doing shows at libraries and county fairs, he was tragically killed and eaten by a group of transients at a north Springfield park in 1987. McGinnis does not speak of the incident.

Democrat Doug Harpool is challenging Champion for Missouri's 30th District senate seat.

FBI Investigation Inches Closer to Roy Blunt

ABC News investigative correspondent, Brian Ross, reports that FBI investigators are taking a close look at House Speaker Dennis Hastert's letters to the Department of Interior on behalf of casino interests represented by crooked lobbyist Jack Abramoff. Ross reports that . . .

"Part of the investigation involves a letter Hastert wrote three years ago, urging the Secretary of the Interior to block a casino on an Indian reservation that would have competed with other tribes."

If I'm not mistaken, this is one of the three letters signed by the 7th District's very own moral icon, Congressman Roy Blunt. Back in January, we posted a timeline of fundraisers and letters to Interior Secretary Gale Norton that clearly linked Blunt and Hastert to Abramoff's casino interests in Louisiana. Here's a clipping:

June 1999 - Abramoff donates $5,000 to ROYB fund.
February 2000 - Abramoff donates an additional $1,500 to ROYB Fund.
March 2000 - Abramoff donates maximum amount to Matt Blunt's campaign for Missouri Secretary of State.
April 2000 - Abramoff's Mariannas Island client donates $3,000 to ROYB fund.
April 2000 - Abramoff client, Juan Franco (Puerto Rico), contributes $3,000 to ROYB fund.
August 2000 - Blunt and DeLay host Republican National Committee events sponsored in part by Abramoff client, the Mississippi Band of Choctaws.
September 2000 - Blunt requests GAO study on tribal recognition issues and simultaneously seeks a six month moratorium on further tribal recognition - protecting existing casinos from further competition.
February 2002 - GAO report on tribal recognition issued.
March 2002 - Blunt writes letter to Department of Interior citing the GAO report and expressed specific concerns about the Jenna Band of Choctaws and their status in Louisiana. The Jenna Band would have been competition for Abramoff's client with tribal recognition approval.
March 2003 - Abramoff contributes to ROYB fund.
May 2003 - Blunt sends another letter to Department of Interior Secretary Gale Norton regarding his concerns about Indian gaming and specifically the Jenna Band in Louisiana.
June 2003 - Blunt joins DeLay, House Speaker Hastert and House Majority Whip Cantor in penning yet another letter to DOI Secretary Norton regarding the opposed Jenna Band casino.

Of course, Blunt will still be re-elected in a landslide this November for a variety of reasons. One, he has more money in his ROYB PAC than the last fifty 7th District candidates combined (Gee, I wonder where it all came from?). Two, he's a Republican incumbent in Southwest Missouri. Three, he has virtually no visible opposition. It is a crying shame that the Democrats couldn't at least have put somebody out there (Hosmer, Harpool, Kreider) to at least raise some of these issues publicly for the good folks here in God's country. Four, the local news media don't possess the balls to report that our golden boy Congressman has sold out to crooked lobbyists and huge corporate interests to become Missouri's poster boy for political corruption.

If Blunt is ever held accountable for selling out his constituents here in SW Missouri, you're more likely to read about it first here in Ozarks Angel than in the News-Leader. That a sad commentary, isn't it?

Here's more on the subject of our asleep-at-the-wheel print media from The Turner Report - and still more on our man Roy from Granny.

Sunday Thread

The News-Leader was all over the power plant issue in this week's Sunday edition. Environmentalists argue against a new coal-fired plant; CU argues in favor of building the thing. Frankly, I don't know enough about this issue to say much, but it seems that, given the reality of global warming and the cost of generating power, that any viable way to create cleaner, sustainable power should be a priority.

Sara Overstreet told us of a handicapped woman who can no longer ride her motorized wheelchair to an OACAC Head Start center due to the closure of the Broadway Avenue railroad crossing. I know I sound completely insensitive, but it's yet another in a series of sad, lightly truth-tinted stories from Overstreet.

Last year, she wrote of a special needs adolescent boy who had been repeatedly turned down by Big Brothers & Big Sisters, when all he sought was a little kindness and love. I remember that kid, even though I never had him in class. I don't know what specifically was wrong with him, but I do know that he did sometimes erupt in violent outburst when things didn't go his way.

I remember seeing the security guard walking toward me with a huge bruise on his arm, vividly outlined by rows of teeth marks and blood. I remember seeing fear in the eyes of children in the hall and the image of that boy being handcuffed and escorted to the patrol car by two of SPD finest. But it's a sad story nonetheless.

And then there was the recent Overstreet story about the special education teacher who cruelly forced her handicapped student to crawl up the steps of the school building. She featured a picture of the family with that one. Given the Big Brother story, I'm wondering how well this one was researched.


Anyway . . . on with the Sunday news shows. I'm finding it harder and harder to listen to the likes of Condi Rice and Alberto Gonzalez. Tim Russert just isn't a whiz-bang interviewer, is he? Gonzalez, who has already proven he can put on a plastic face and say absolutely nothing for hours at a time, was vintage.

You only need partial quotes from Gonzalez to know when it's a waste of time to go on listening. First, he stated that "we don't engage in surveillance . . without a court order", which is a bold-faced lie as everybody knows. Once the big lie is presented, what can follow?

"We want to promote . . . first amendment rights." Of course you do. When pressed by George Stephanopoulos to explain events that would contradict that statement, Gonzalez replied with the tried and true Nixonian mantra . . . "We are engaged in an investigation . . . I'm not going to talk about specific cases."

More from the Bush administration Theater of the Absurd. An investigation by the Justice Department into NSA spying practices was halted this week. The Bush administration has, incredible as it may seem, denied itself access to it's own information.

From the Washington Post:

"The government has abruptly ended an inquiry into the warrantless eavesdropping program because the National Security Agency refused to grant Justice Department lawyers the necessary security clearance to probe the matter.

The Justice Department's Office of Professional Responsibility, or OPR, sent a fax to Rep. Maurice Hinchey, D-N.Y., on Wednesday saying they were closing their inquiry because without clearance their lawyers cannot examine Justice lawyers' role in the program."

If one were to personify American governance at this moment in time, he would be an incredibly rich, well-armed, drug-addicted mental patient who dredges up imaginary enemies to feed his fevered self-consumption. The drug is power, the enemies are everywhere.

On the positive side, it was great to hear John Edwards expanding the collective orifices of Cheney, Bush, et al. It seems there are a few Democrats whose testicles are beginning to descend after a cold winter of Republican malfeasance. If Edwards can stay real, he will be a strong presidential candidate.

Like most democrats, Edwards isn't backing any talk of impeaching Bush. Isn't it interesting that the Clinton impeachment actually served the Republicans very well after a passage of time. Because after that debacle, nobody has the stomach for years of investigation and litigation, even though the charges are much worse than those that would have come against Nixon, as Edwards pointed out in his interview.

Rountree Teacher & Principal Charged

The News-Leader online edition reports that misdemeanor sexual misconduct and assault charges were filed today against Rountree PE instructor Mark Washam. Washam was arrested and released in mid-March by SPD. Five girls and one boy were listed as victims. Principal Carolyn Harralson was also charged with misdemeanor violation of failing to report the abuse to the Childrens' Division.

I'm sure the offended parties feel vindicated, and if Washam did exhibit some of the alleged sexual behaviors listed, his removal from contact with children is a good thing.

Pedophiles and sexual offenders are a sneaky lot, but as one who works with adolescents on a daily basis, there are still questions in my mind about this case.

One thing you won't see in this case or others like it . . . the discipline records of the children involved. A record showing repeated instances of disrespect for authority, dishonesty and aggressive behaviors, for instance, would cast this story in an entirely different light.

I'm just trying to imagine all the elements that could be in play. The hotline caller is, of course, anonymous.

Bearing False Witness Door to Door

I hear a knock on the door last Saturday, and standing before me on my front step are two gentlemen carrying paperback books about the Ten Commandments.

The younger of the two men did all the talking while his buddy, an older man who was obviously nervous about this door-to-door thing, stood smiling throughout his partner's narrative. I was treated to a well-rehearsed story that began . . .

"Of course, you know that the ten commandments have been removed from the schools and that the pledge of allegiance is no longer recited in the classroom. There has been a concerted effort to remove prayer and God from the schools . . . "

It was somewhere about here when I interrupted the young man to tell him that I was a public school teacher.

"As far as I can remember, the ten commandments have never been in the schools - none that I've seen as a student or a teacher. Every Monday my home room and I stand as one, as do all the other 600+ students in our school, and recite the pledge of allegiance - though I doubt half of them know what it means.

Every Thursday morning, the school's FCA chapter (Fellowship of Christian Athletes) meets for prayer and a message, frequently from outside speakers - and it is very well attended. They have their own bulletin board in the main hallway with religious messages and symbols. Nobody is objecting to this. So where do you get this stuff?"

The two men were a little non-plussed, but the older guy continued nodding his head and smiling.

"Well, that's just great," he said enthusiastically. "Thank you for telling us about that."

The younger one muttered something about when he was in ROTC they didn't say the pledge at the school he attended. I didn't quite follow. I asked him where he went to school, and he told me he was from out of town. Oh.

"The thing is," I had to get the last word, "you guys are going door-to-door peddling your book, but you are telling people things that are just not true."

As they backed their way through our abrupt farewell, the older gentleman, still smiling and nodding, said "Thanks for telling us about your experiences." And they walked across the driveway to my neighbor's front porch.

They actually gave my neighbor a free copy of the book, Ten Commandments Twice Removed, by televangelists Danny Shelton and Shelley Quinn. And they didn't use the same lines on him, which I found a little gratifying - they just hawked the book. Maybe speaking up can make a small difference sometimes. Usually not, but maybe this time.

So, Matt loans me the book, and right there on the first page, line two, the public schools are introduced as evidence of our godless society's so-called war on Christianity.

"Whose agenda are we following? With prayer prohibited in public schools, Nativity scenes banned from public properties, and the Ten Commandments forcibly removed from government institutions, it makes me wonder."

Wonder, indeed. Wonder how many people will buy this load of misinformation and hyperbole.

Here's an interesting piece from the Washington Post that poses the question: "In Today's Culture, Do You See Evidence of a War on Christianity?

Ozarks Messenger, Rountree Molestation III

Sunday Thread

Reading the Sunday News-Leader took all of eight minutes this morning. My god, you'd think we have roving bands of pit bulls on the streets tearing at the flesh of terrorized citizens. Jeezus, give the dog story a rest, please.

Maybe a new editorial page editor will help. Tony Messenger wrote his first Springfield editorial today, the obligatory glad-to-be-here-in-the-Ozarks-where-a-handshake-still-means-something-and-did-I-mention-my-love-of-gooseberry-pie routine. Your basic load of shit. Now that's out of the way, we can expect Messenger to actually say something next week. Welcome to the Bible Belt. You'll find out soon enough what it means, Tony, don't worry.

His new blog, Ozarks Messenger, just started up last week and should be an interesting addition to the local blog scene.

Rountree Alleged Molestation - Preponderance of Hearsay

Springfield R-12, seeking some kind of closure to this ugly mess, suspended the Rountree principal last week. Carolyn Harralson apparently failed to follow her mandated reporter responsibilities and is likely to face charges to that effect as soon as the prosecutor's office sorts through the DSS report.

What an odd case - the way this has played out reveals quite clearly how easily an individual's career and reputation can be smeared beyond salvaging even if there is virtually no proof of any misdeed - and as of this day, no charges filed. You gotta think there's a big lawsuit or hefty settlement brewing somewhere.

I'm also wondering if the caseworker for the Rountree episode also handled the Dominic James case (boy killed while in foster care). Even if it's not the same individual, I get the feeling the folks at DSS might be over-compensating just a bit on the this one.

One thing is certain. An experienced teacher and popular elementary principal have probably seen their careers in education come to an abrupt end due to allegations based on hearsay and notes passed on by fifth-graders. Yet the DSS claims there exists a "preponderance of evidence" that sexual abuse occurred at Rountree and that the principal neglected to respond to reports as required by law.

By the way, the principal reportedly contacted her supervisor for guidance on the matter and was told to file a report in the P.E. teacher's personnel file. So, is the administrator also going to be charged with mandated reporter violations? Or is the principal going to bear the entire responsibility for this apparent misstep?

And who leaked the descriptions of the alleged molestations to the News-Leader? None other than a parent trying to publicly justify the hotline call that set this sordid affair into motion. They asked to remain anonymous for fear of repurcussions. Repercussions? Like having your reputation destroyed and losing one's job? The N-L, of course, was all too eager to lay it all out with a front page headline - and yet, it bears repreating, neither the teacher nor the principal have been formally charged with anything. Very strange that the DSS can wield such power - and very irresponsible journalism on the part of the N-L, if you ask me.

The County Prosecutor's office has been quiet on the matter. Prosecutor Darrell Moore did little to hide his disapproval of the way R-12 and the Springfield Police handled the case from the start - with the quick arrest/release of the suspect and the closed community meeting. Moore is likely to charge the principal (and administrator?) fairly soon, but I seriously doubt the P. E. teacher will ever face formal molestation charges - unless somebody digs up some real evidence.

Lincoln on Preventive War

Here's President Lincoln's take on presidential war powers in speaking his opposition to the Mexican War in 1848. It's from a Washington Post article by Arthur Schlesinger.

"Allow the President to invade a neighboring nation, whenever he shall deem it necessary to repel an invasion and you allow him to do so whenever he may choose to say he deems it necessary for such purpose - and you allow him to make war at pleasure [emphasis added]. . . . If, today, he should choose to say he thinks it necessary to invade Canada to prevent the British from invading us, how could you stop him? You may say to him, 'I see no probability of the British invading us'; but he will say to you, 'Be silent; I see it, if you don't.

This is essentially what has happened with Bush and his Iraq War.

Abramoff, DeLay, Blunt: A Living Museum of Corruption

If there ever were a Southwest Missouri Hall of Fame of Political Corruption, someone would be commissioned to prepare a bust of Roy Blunt for the centerpiece - or perhaps a life-size wax figure would be better, symbolizing Blunt's malleability when doing behind-the-scenes work on behalf of crooked lobbyists and big corporate contributors.

I doubt that John Q. would pony up any funds for such a place, but I'd put it right next to the Sports Hall of Fame out there by Highland Springs. It would glow behind a big glittery sign that would light up the entire James River valley below, and the architecture would be resplendent with cheezy casino motif.

Blunt's name cropped up again this week in an excellent Abramoff piece by Matt Taibbi in Rolling Stone entitled Meet Mr. Republican - Jack Abramoff. Here's a short excerpt that details how Blunt pulled some strings to help his buddy Jack. So discreet, nobody notices. It makes you wonder how many times things like this took place . . .

"Case in point: Abramoff's remarkable success in defeating H.R. 521, a 2001 House bill that would place the Guam Superior Court under the control of a federally controlled Supreme Court. Led by Judge Alberto Lamorena, Guam Superior Court justices hired the lobbyist to defeat the bill, which would have unseated them as the chief judicial authorities of the island. It says something for Abramoff's ability to bring out the worst in people that he managed to get a group of sitting judges to pay him $324,000 in public funds in $9,000 installments so as to avoid detection.

Despite the $324,000 fee, Abramoff could not prevent the House Resources committee from unanimously recommending H.R. 521 for passage. Would the superlobbyist finally fail? No, of course not. Given what we know about Abramoff's tactics, we'd be naive not to conclude that he could lean on DeLay and then-Whip Roy Blunt to stall the bill in the congressional machinery. On May 27th, 2002, just five days after the Resources committee made its recommendation, an Abramoff-linked PAC wrote two checks for $5,000 -- one to Blunt, one to DeLay. H.R. 521 never reached the floor.

The Guam incident certainly shows how easily the whole Congress was controlled by a small gang. The DeLay Republicans, along with Abramoff, were apparently the first to recognize the opportunities for corruption presented by the House leadership's dictatorial control over key committees, in particular the Rules committee. Now, a single call to a lone Tom DeLay could decide the fate of any piece of legislation, pushing it through to a vote or gumming it up in the works as needed. The other 430-odd congressmen were window dressing."

Add this to the list. Of course, local voters will never see this story in the News-Leader. They did finally run a piece on Midge Potts, Blunt's primary opponent, in today's paper. But did you notice it was from an AP wire story out of Kansas City? Dee Wampler was interviewed, but I'll spare you.

By the way, we were less than specific about Midge Potts in an earlier post. We used the word transexual, which I think implies that Potts changed his sex from male to female. The word transgender more accurately describes Potts' sexual status. He has chosen to portray a female identity. The person formerly known as Mitchell Potts, however, is the owner of a penis and is, therefore, a man - at least physically. Glad to clear that up.

Sadly, this will probably be the salient issue southwest Missourians will take away from the upcoming political campaign. I seriously doubt there will be any meaningful public dialogue with Blunt on any issue this election season.

I would still love to hear Blunt answer one pointed question regarding his less-than-ethical conduct in Congress while turning tricks for Jack Abramoff.

The Large and Small of It

There is so much to write about, and so little time, but this amazing image of what has been called the "DNA Nebula" stopped me in my tracks. I ran across it in National Geographic News. NASA's Spitzer Space Telescope captured this infrared image of a spiraling, intertwining nebula in our own Milky Way galaxy that is some 80 light-years in length and is shaped like a colossal DNA strand.

In my classroom, we sometimes talk about what we term "Big Thoughts" - questions about time, eternity, space, infinity . . . this will make for some interesting discussion tomorrow - after we take the damn MAP test, that is.

"Nobody has ever seen anything like that before in the cosmic realm," said Mark Morris, professor of physics and astronomy at the University of California, Los Angeles, and lead author of the study (appears in this week's issue of Nature).

"Most nebulae are either spiral galaxies full of stars or formless, amorphous conglomerations of dust and gas, space weather. What we see indicates a high degree of order."

On the same day, I ran across this article about some MIT researchers that are using viruses to create miniscule batteries the size of a grain of rice.

By manipulating a few genes inside these viruses, the team was able to coax the organisms to grow and self-assemble into a functional electronic device. In their research, the MIT team altered the virus's genes so they make protein coats that collect molecules of cobalt oxide, plus gold.

The viruses then align themselves on the polymer surface to form ultrathin wires. Each virus, and thus the wire, is only 6 nanometers (6 billionths of a meter) in diameter, and 880 nanometers in length. The batteries made from these special altered viruses can store two or three times more energy for its size and weight compared to previously used battery electrode materials.

A report on this work is in the April 7 issue of Science.

(Speaking of small things . . . I was going to write about Dick Cheney coming to town, but these item are so much more interesting. I heard part of Cheney's speech on KY3 - he wasn't even reading it very well. Something about defending liberty . . . blah blah blah.)

John Dean on George Bush

I found two interesting quotes from former Nixon White House counsel John Dean. You may recall the image of Dean being sworn in at the Senate Watergate hearings that ended with Nixon's resignation. Nixon had been ordering illegal wiretaps on American citizens in the name of national security, and he faced certain impeachment.

Fast forward thirty-three years and Dean returns to testify on the proposed presidential censure motion introduced by Senator Russ Feingold (D-Wisconsin).

He told the senators:

". . . I must add that never before have I felt the slightest reason to fear our government. Nor do I frighten easily. But I do fear the Bush/Cheney government (and the precedents they are creating) because this administration is caught up in the rectitude of its own self- righteousness, and for all practical purposes this presidency has remained largely unchecked by its constitutional coequals."

Dean also published an article called "Bush's Unprecedented Arrogance" in FindLaw.com. Here's an excerpt:

"In the end, this issue is going to be resolved by the 2006 midterm election. If Republicans lose control of either the House or Senate, the investigations of the Bush/Cheney White House will begin. It won't be pretty. It will make dealing with lying about sex look like High School hazing. It will even make Richard Nixon look like a piker when it comes to staying within the law."

Of course, here in the Ozarks, we'll send Roy Blunt back to Congress with the assurance that he'll do whatever he can to obstruct any such investigations. Our man in Washington.

Bond Issue, MAP Mayhem at Springfield R-12

Sunday Thread

The Sunday News-Leader editorial page is awash with education issues today - school board endorsement, bond issue debate and numerous letters to the editor endorsing school board candidates.

Their own editorial had this curious heading:

"Our picks a tool to help in choice". At first, I thought they were describing school board candidates - well, there is Roy Holand - but they were just telling us that we didn't have to vote for their recommendations. Gee, thanks for the heads up.

Holand, the former ultra-conservative state legislator, says all the right things during interviews but strongly supports school vouchers and the further blurring of the line separating church and state. Put this guy on the school board, and we'll very likely be arguing intelligent design this time next year. He didn’t get much attention from the N-L. I guess the fact that Holand has kept these views on the down-low is encouraging - perhaps a recognition that they are not held by the majority, even in Springfield.

The SNEA supports two of the News-Leader’s favorites, Craig Hosmer and Gerry Ellis, but the N-L endorses Callen, while the local teacher group is strongly supporting long-time board member Bruce Renner, the only candidate or board member with classroom teaching experience.

The Pro-Con editorial argument centered around the school bond issue (Proposition B) that R-12 has pushed as "Building a Legacy". That should probably read "Building uh Buildings", particularly in south Springfield, the fastest growing part of the city. Volunteer mom, Lisa Langley, took the "Pro" side and spoke of the over-crowding at south-side schools and the need for updated science labs and air conditioning in the buildings.

"Academically, Springfield teachers and students have proven themselves," Langley said. "The district continues to shine, being recognized as an outstanding district at the state level."

How R-12 has handled money in the past has become an issue with many voters.

Steve Hoots writes in his "Con" Proposition B column, that the school system has not coped well with changing demographics (the system is actually losing student annually) and has misspent millions on over-budget building projects that were poorly planned.

My neighbor, who I suspect is voting against the bond issue, put it this way.

"You get the impression these board members drive around in their Escalades looking at the wonderful new schools in Nixa and Ozark, and they want their schools to look like that, a ‘keep up with the Jones’ kind of thing."

He may have a point there, but I’ll tell you what bugs the hell out of me about this bond issue. A group of teachers asked this question to one of the zone superintendents a few weeks ago . . .

"Given the fact that the school board decided to roll back the recent tax levy - explaining they didn’t actually need it all at this time - on the heels of that, you turn around and ask for a bond increase. Don’t you think this is confusing to the voter?"

The R-12 assistant superintendent politely explained that the tax levy rollback only dealt with things like teacher salaries and classroom materials. The bond issue went toward building and improving facilities. I get it. Teacher salaries and instructional material - we can put those kinds of things on the back burner.

But who is going to occupy these proposed new classrooms? I guess we can expect a roll-out of the roll-back?

Fact: Missouri ranks 45th in teacher salaries, and Springfield teachers are at the low end of the state. That would make Springfield R-12 teachers among the lowest paid teachers in the United States. Ms. Langley is right - Springfield teachers and students are out-performing the support they are given by the state and community.
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MAP Testing Frenzy hits area schools. Some schools are able to put all this MAP hype in the proper perspective, but many schools are fully immersed in all things MAP leading up to the 2-3 week testing period - after school study sessions with candy rewards, complete schedule changes, test administration meetings (how to give a standardized test), warnings of violations and possible inspection by MAP police. It's MAP Mayhem!

A girl in my class said it all made her very nervous. But the most anxious individuals involved in this exercise in standardized accountability are the building principals . . . from whom it trickles down to teachers and students. No principal relishes the opportunity to stand before the school board in order to explain the how's and why's of their school's miserable test scores.

More MAP Mayhem later . . .
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Rountree Quiet

There are all kinds of stories circulating around the alleged Rountree sexual molestation incident. My daughter went to Rountree K-5, and I know there are some very activist parents in that particular district. Rountree district borders the east side of Missouri State University, and probably has a higher percentage of involved parents than many Springfield schools, especially of the inner-city variety. Our own experience was very positive - excellent teachers, a very nice neighborhood school.

I haven't found any reports in the N-L or on local news about the fate of the teacher who was arrested, released and never charged with several counts of 1st degree child molestation. Dee Wampler is representing him, which doesn't bode well. Someone who knows the teacher's family was told that he was totally devastated and on suicide watch. Total hearsay, but sounds reasonable, given the nature of the non-charges.

More unsubstantiated stuff that may emerge . . . the incident at Rountree is being handled with kid gloves because many of the charges and accusations appear to have racial undertones. The teacher in question is white. If this were strictly sexual, the prosecutor and the accused would have been on camera a long time ago - and the local media would have been all over it.

I wouldn't be surprised to find that this alleged molestation incident runs much deeper than accusations about a perv PE teacher. Then again, it may just fade away to nothing . . . like the suspect's teaching career.

Blunt Faces Transexual Opponent in Primary

The same day we run a story about the politics of manliness, I run across this odd bit of news. Our own manly 7th District representative, Roy Blunt, faces a primary challenger nobody could have expected.

Ms. Midge Potts, 37, the state's first openly transgender candidate, has filed to run against Congressman Blunt in the upcoming Republican primary. I first saw this while looking through The Turner Report, which linked us to today's rather lengthy St. Louis Post-Dispatch article (another swing-and-a-miss for the News-Leader).

Potts, a Navy Gulf War veteran when her name was Mitchell Potts, chose to run as a Republican because she believes in "the party's traditional platform of financial conservatism, states' rights and a strong national defense. She is pushing for term limits, debt reduction and building up the National Guard." She is, however, opposed to the War in Iraq and has been arrested a couple of times while protesting.

But how is she on the Republican manliness thing? Somehow I don't see the GOP family values crowd embracing this candidate - or even shaking hands.

See the Potts for Congress website at: http://www.pottsforcongress.com/

Manliness Next to Godliness

The most interesting exchange on the Sunday morning news circuit came near the end of ABC's 'This Week', with Harvard author Harvey Mansfield squaring off against Al Gore's wardrobe consultant, Naomi Wolf, on the subject of the politics of manliness.

Wasn't it Harvard that dumped their president for saying that women weren't as scientifically wired as men? Of course, the publicity won't hurt book sales . . . here's one exchange:

Mansfield: Politics is a field of competition, and women are less interested in competition, just as they're less interested in sports. And, indeed, I think their interest in sports goes together with their interest in men more than in sports or in politics directly.

Wolf: I don't think women think about their political convictions in that kind of, you know, nitpicking way. I think they're more concerned about clean air, clean water, good schools, health care. His timing is kind of weird because in the wake of 9-11, there has been a spontaneous sort of fetishization of big, strong, powerful men who kind of kill the enemy without thinking about their human qualities.

Do you get the feeling old Harvey doesn't get out much? Or maybe he's been out too much with nice republican women. Same effect.

-------------------
Sunday Thread

Is it me, or is the News-Leader editorial page just been awful since Leger left? It's just bland on bland. The same former navy guy parroting terrorism fears we've been hearing for years in supporting the Iraq war . . . a local "liberal" pastor disagrees and gives a rational and clear dissection of Bush war policy. That may be news to some N-L readers. It seems to me there is almost a resignation now among Americans that the war was a trumped up, post 9/11 reaction, sold to our manly president by opportunistic ideologues.

Ah hell, maybe I'm just pissed at the N-L editors for not printing my Roy Blunt letters. But it seems newsworthy to me that our own representative has such close ties to an indicted money-laundering swindler like Jack Abramoff. This would be a story of interest to many Ozarkers, yet the News-Leader blithely ignores widely known facts about Blunt's dalliance with political corruption.

No problem. Local media will eventually air the story this fall as revenue-producing political ads sponsored by the democratic party (if 7th District Dems can find a candidate). So the media, in effect, pushes the story into the political realm where it can be easily dismissed as party politics. In turn, the media serves themselves up as filters for truth once the story comes out as a campaign ad. This seems backwards to me - but maybe I'm expecting too much from the press. Silly me.

Bush Unaware of Babylon Apocalypse Prophecy

You know, for a guy who claims to be born-again, who blatantly pandered to Christian Evangelicals in order to secure fully 20% of the presidential vote, and who holds Jesus Christ up as his favorite (ahem) philosopher, George Bush doesn't seem to know a damn thing about Bible prophecy. Maybe he just hasn't been briefed on it yet.

On Monday, Bush visited Cleveland and somehow found himself taking questions from an unscreened group of reporters, an event that rarely happens. According to an ABC news story, a woman spoke up and surprised Bush with the following question:

" . . . Some Christians see the war in Iraq and the rise of terrorism as signs of the apocalypse the destruction of the world as described in the biblical book of Revelation. Do you believe this, that the war in Iraq and the rise of terrorism are signs of the apocalypse? And if not, why not?" (Want a good scare? Ask the same question of John Ashcroft.)

Bush, not uncharacteristically, was completely non-plussed.

"Hmm." (I didn't see the exchange, but I think we could safely insert a presidential smirk here.) "The answer is I haven't really thought of it that way," he continued, to laughter from the audience.

"Here's how I think of it. The first I've heard of that, by the way. I guess I'm more of a practical fellow."

The first he's heard of it? Are you kidding me? Isn't this the born-again leader of the largest Christian nation on earth, and he hasn't read the book of Revelations, hasn't heard of the final battles of the end-time apocalypse along the banks of the Euphrates River in Babylon, now Iraq?

Is it possible that this president, a man so incredibly isolated from the real world, is also indifferent and ignorant of the prophesies of his espoused religion? Of course it is. This is George W. Bush we're talking about. The man is nothing if not consistent.

Anybody who has attended a fundamentalist church in the last hundred years has heard the preachers warning about the end times as predicted by Jesus in the book of Matthew and John in Revelations. In the end time there will be wars and rumors of war, famine, earthquakes and nation rising against nation . . . tsunamis, earthquakes, floods, hurricanes, melting ice caps, actors as presidents, professional tanning salons, fishing tournaments, Fox News, cats and dogs living together, my god in heaven . . . the list goes on.

But seriously, folks. Christian Evangelicals are flocking to book stores trying to get up to speed on our impending calamitous end. The San Francisco Chronicle published an interesting article back in 2003 that begins:

America is embarked on a battle of biblical proportions -- and in the eyes of a growing number of evangelical Christians, this long-awaited fight could actually bring about the fulfillment of ancient prophecies about the war of Armageddon and the Second Coming of Christ.

The Chronicle piece also points to the astronomical sales of end-time serial novels like "Left Behind", by Tim LaHaye and Jerry Jenkins, with sales surpassing 50 million copies.

Of course, the born-again among us don't tend to worry much about the seven year war called the Great Tribulation that culminates with the Battle of Armageddon and the end of the world as we know it, because they will have already been called up in the Rapture. No wonder they like reading this stuff.

The SFC article ends with an ominous quote from evangelical author Gary DeMar that reflects how many Christian evangelicals feel about the War in Iraq.

"There is no reason to bring about a peace movement because they believe all this has to take place," DeMar said. "It's prophetic inevitability."

Yet another prophetic scenario is described in a Washington Post story entitled "Direst Predictions for War in Iraq". The WP interviews the good reverend Irvin Baxter Jr., founder of Endtime magazine and pastor of Oak Park Church in Richmond, Ind. Baxter, along with his flock, firmly believes that . . .

. . . casualties will be tremendous, not only of combatants in Iraq but of people in neighboring countries hit by retaliatory missiles of mass destruction and Americans who fall victim to terrorists armed with portable nuclear weapons.
And other countries will take the opportunity to pursue their own interests -- China trying to retake Taiwan, or India making an all-out assault on Kashmir -- leading to World War III, he said. The result, Baxter concludes, could be a nuclear holocaust that takes the lives of 2 billion people, the "one-third of mankind" stated in Revelation.

But I'm a practical guy, just like George Bush. I'm thinking it might not be so bad after the Rapture. I mean, no traffic jams, no lines at Golden Corral. It might not be that bad.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
. . . from the 3/24/06 Washington Post: "Happy Doomsday to You!".

Integrity, Inc. - Let the Earnings Soar!

John Ashcroft is, if nothing else, a man of integrity. If you don't believe it, just ask him. In the wake of the Abramoff lobbying scandal, the former Attorney General has set up a new K-Street firm called the Ashcroft Group, and the money is already rolling in. Since setting up shop in September, AG already boasts some twenty-one clients.

Ashcroft told the Washington Post that his experience in cracking down on corporate corruption, his keen insider experience fighting the war on terror ("I have been at the heart of the war on terror") and his personal integrity make him uniquely qualified to head up a high-powered lobbying firm in the post-9/11 era.

"Clients would call in an individual who has a reputation for the highest level of integrity," Ashcroft crowed.

In a business that charges fees as high as $900 an hour, plus raking in weekly speaking fees of $75,000, Ashcroft is feeling pretty flush since leaving the Justice Department.

WP notes that before the 9/11 attacks, there were few commercial opportunities at the Justice Department. Since then, the department has become a major clearinghouse for large contracts related to homeland security.

"I've been stunned at how good people have been to me," Ashcroft said. "And that kindness has been reflected in business opportunities. It's been gratifying, and I'm earning significant multiples of what I've ever earned before."

Yes, the war on terror has been a great economic boon to well-connected individuals associated with selected contractors and influence peddlers. Now we have two big-money lobbying links here in the Ozarks - our anointed favorite son John, and Roy Blunt's lovely wife, Abigail. I know I feel blessed.

Oh, and if you worry that our man John is forgetting his Christian roots, rest assured that he still holds the position of visiting law professor at Regent University, a Christian university founded by Pat Robertson.

As Huffington Post says, Let the Earnings Soar!

Springfield R-12 Molestation Case Big News

Or is it? If you read the News-Leader, watch local television news or listen to the aptly-named Cracker Barrel radio show, you already know about the Rountree Elementary molestation case. (Actually, I'm only guessing local talk radio is having a hayday with this one - haven't tuned in.) There was also some new information in Chatter regarding the Monday arrest of a male physical education teacher from Rountree.

The News-Leader and KSPR33 News were eager to stir the pot with this story. I understand KSPR, despite the fact that the teacher had yet to be charged, couldn't resist releasing his name and airing his mugshot to their meager audience. Meanwhile, cub reporters from the N-L newsroom were leaving messages on Rountree parent phones, begging for "any kind of information" on the case. No wonder a local teachers group, in a letter to members, has characterized the media handling of this case (and the alleged abuse case at Bissett Elementary) as a media-driven "public lynching".

The fact is, the suspect was arrested on Monday and released without charges on Tuesday, yet in that one twenty-four hour period, his teaching career hit the wall, regardless of guilt or innocence.

In a letter sent to Hickory Hills parents, where the suspect also taught elementary PE, superintendent Norm Ridder assured parents that R-12 will "make every effort to insure that students . . . are safe and that the district's personnel treat our students in a safe and appropriate manner." He referred any questions to the building principal at Hickory. It is interesting to note that a similar letter to Rountree parents referred inquiries to an administrator instead of the current building principal. My guess is that the Rountree principal is perhaps in hot water for violating the mandated reporter law.

As a school teacher, I can tell you first hand that the wrath of one irate parent can literally bring everyone - administrators, psychologists, counselors, lawyers - to the table for some excruciatingly meaningless breast-beating. Some parents will stop at nothing, short of actually caring for their children on a daily basis, to demonstrate their undying love. There isn't an experienced teacher out there who hasn't been stretched through the ringer by an irrational parent. This is the flip side of teaching that doesn't make the front page.

I once spent a ridiculously wasteful two weeks attending meetings trying to calm down the parents of a boy who claimed I had made a joke about his dog's death while he was absent (but somehow no other student in attendance heard anything). I wrote in this space last summer of the special ed teacher who was nearly run over on the sidewalk by an angry mother behind the wheel. I recently attended a parent/teacher meeting where a black mom strenuously objected to the fact that her daughter's white teacher looked at her too much during a class discussion of Black History Week. I could go on.

SPD says their investigators have identified six victims of molestation at Rountree. If that's true, it's hard to believe that many kids could be fabricating everything. Rountree parents will hold a closed meeting with police officials on Monday to learn more about the ongoing SPD investigation.

Of course, all this comes at a time when R-12 is trying to muster support for a school bond issue. Great timing.

Oh, and welcome to Springfield, Dr. Ridder.

W's Anatomy Lesson

Mr. Fish Anatomy Lesson from Truthdig.com

Norton Resigns Interior - Should Blunt Be Worried?

Gale Norton, an original member of the Bush 2001 cabinet, announced her resignation Friday. Norton dutifully carried out administration policy - facilitating drilling permits, pushing sale of public lands, privatization of national parks and opening up protected areas for oil exploration - basically didn't make waves with the so-called conservative power base in Washington.

Norton also towed the line when acquiescing to GOP-favored influence peddlers like Jack Abramoff and his buddies in Congress (Blunt signed onto three letters on behalf of Abramoff) by denying reservation permits to certain Indian tribes that would have competed with Abramoff casino clients.

Here's a brief timeline from a past OA post concerning Blunt and his letters to Norton:

• September 2000 - Blunt requests GAO study on tribal recognition issues and simultaneously seeks a six month moratorium on further tribal recognition - protecting existing casinos from further competition.
• February 2002 - GAO report on tribal recognition issued.
• March 2002 - Blunt writes letter to Department of Interior citing the GAO report and expressed specific concerns about the Jenna Band of Choctaws and their status in Louisiana. The Jenna Band would have been competition for Abramoff's client with tribal recognition approval.
• March 2003 - Abramoff contributes to ROYB fund.
• May 2003 - Blunt sends another letter to Department of Interior Secretary Gale Norton regarding his concerns about Indian gaming and specifically the Jenna Band in Louisiana.

Norton told the Washington Post that her resignation had nothing to do with the ongoing federal investigation of Abramoff, but even from our vantage point here in the hills, we can see that this is no coincidence. Like one of the privileged class on a doomed luxury liner, Norton is grabbing an early lifeboat.

Of course, the mainstream media can't seem to find an audience for Abramoff these days, despite the fact that he's beginning to lash out at all his amnesiac pals in government.

The AP merely notes that "Norton leaves at a time when a major lobbying scandal involving Indian gaming licenses that required her consent looms over her agency, but there has been no indication of possible wrongdoing on her part."

Norton is smart to get out before results from the Abramoff investigation come to full bloom. I'm wondering if Roy has any fears here? I see that Blunt is drafting a bill regarding the Dubai fiasco that would require congressional oversight as the administration reviews foreign acquisitions, so at least he's come out of his room after the leadership spanking.

Christianity and Crawdads

Missouri state representative David Sater, from Cassville's 68th District, has reportedly sponsored a bill that would make Christianity the "official majority religion" of the state of Missouri, according to a story published on the St. Louis-based KMOV.com website.

So, is Missouri now competing with the state of Kansas for "Dumbass Capital of the Midwest"?

I first saw the story prominently displayed on the Huffington Post this evening, and there were already several hundred comments. Here's what Sater had to say about Resolution 13 on his website:

House Concurrent Resolution (HCR 13) reflections upon the historical significance that Christianity has had in shaping our way of life, our government, and how our early leaders relied on their Christian faith in governing our first constitution. It states that the common sense that voluntary prayer in public schools and religious displays on public property are not a coalition of church and state, but rather the justified recognition of the positive role that Christianity has played in this great nation of ours, the United States of America.

I decided to take a closer look at other bills sponsored or co-sponsored by Rep. Sater. Granted, most of these bills won't come to a vote, but it's a little disturbing to think that elected officials like Sater are up there in Jeff City with nothing better to do that dream up stuff like this:

• HCR13 Resolves that voluntary prayer in public schools, religious displays on public property, and the recognition of a Christian God are not a coalition of church and state.
• HB983 Requires the United States and the Missouri state flags to be flown at half-staff on all government buildings on September 11 each year.
• HB1444 Prohibits the use of public funds for health and social services programs to subsidize abortion services.
• HB1642 Requires state agencies, public schools and colleges and political subdivisions to use the traditional names of holidays.
• HB1833 Designates the crayfish as the official state invertebrate.
• HB41 Requires implementation of a random drug testing program for persons who receive Medicaid.
• HB34 Eliminates the requirement that course materials and instruction on human sexuality and sexually transmitted diseases include discussion of contraception methods.
• HB451 Requires signs on selected highways entering Greene County to contain the message: "Welcome to Greene County - Home of Governor Matt Blunt".

What's next? Will they designate the Holy Ghost as the official state specter?

I felt compelled to email Representative Sater (david.sater@house.mo.gov) to comment on his work representing the good folks here in Southwest Missouri. Let us all join hands and pray together - petition the Lord to help this poor misguided man find another calling that would lead him to a more productive life outside of politics. Do I hear an Amen?

War Stories from Iraq

I don't even remember how I found this site, From NYC. Freelance journalist/photographer, Brian Palmer, is embedded with the U. S. Marine Charlie Company at Al Asad Airbase in Iraq.

Every time I hear our non-com militarist leaders Donald Rumsfeld, Dick Cheney or George Bush wax on about how democracy is taking a foothold in Iraq, how the Iraqi Army is almost ready to take over stabilization efforts, how the insurgency is in its "last throes" - I wonder how courageous these men would be, how decisive they would be about sending young men off to a pre-emptive war if they themselves were actually embedded with the Marines for just a short time. Here are some excerpts from Palmer's blog:

The shooting is loud and furious and disorienting, particularly to me. This is my first real firefight. I point my video camera at the loudest clump of shooting. I pan to my right toward Marino and his team as they fire rounds into the field at an enemy I can't see. I’m trying to concentrate on the action happening in the viewfinder while keeping my head parallel to the mud . . .

Someone spots something or someone moving in the canal among the reeds. A wounded, possibly dead, fighter is either hiding or dying.Gunfire erupts again. I peer through the swaying stalks but see nothing. Marino and the Laube spot the body. Marino puts two final bullets into the man. All I see is a spray of blood after the second shot. That’s the fourth and final “enemy KIA” . . .

I crouch behind a berm with Marino and a squad of Marines. “Thirty seconds!” Corpsman Chin shouts. Then, Boom! The Explosive Ordnance Demolition team has “blown in place” two of the dead fighters, one of whom wore the suicide vest. (The other carried a grenade with the detonation pin pulled, Marines said.) “Stand by for body parts,” shouts a grunt. I don’t hear anything hit the ground after the blast, but as I walk back to the farmhouse, I notice moist coin-size bits of pink, brown, and red glistening in the dirt. I identify one chunk as a piece of liver. Corpsman Chin corrects me. “That’s lung."

These kinds of images and stories won't be seen on NBC, CBS, ABC, CNN and certainly not Fox News, which yesterday had their neocon intellectuals speculating over the question, "All-Out Civil War in Iraq: Could It Be a Good Thing?". There are just a few degrees of detachment here in America, as we sit in our recliners watching filtered news clips from our very own war of choice.

Reluctant Meme Quartets

Doc Larry at Lost Chord (who I'd like to meet after reading his interesting work history) tagged this space. Like the Doc, I give this curmudgeonly reply:

Four Jobs I've Had
1. Janitor
2. Photographer
3. Personnel Manager
4. Teacher

Four Places I've Lived
1. Toronto, Ontario
2. North Hollywood, CA
3. Fair Grove, MO
4. Springfield, MO

Four Movies I'd Watch Again
1. As Good As It Gets
2. My Life As A Dog
3. Life of Brian
4. Off the Map

Four TV Shows I Love
1. Seinfeld
2. Bob Newhart
3. Frontline
4. Daily Show (when I had cable)

Four Places I've Vacationed
1. Negril, Jamaica
2. all over Ontario
3. Old Route 66 'tween here and points west
4. Buffalo River Cabin

Four Favorite Dishes
1. Han's Chicken w/kimchi (Korea House)
2. Casper's Chili (w/lots of crackers)
3. Burrito Enchilada Style (half order please, lots of hot sauce)
4. Sunday breakfast at home with the paper

Four Sites I Visit Daily
1. Truthout.org
2. Slate
3. News-Leader online
4. Huffington Post

Four Places I'd Rather Be
1. You mean actual locales?
2. Or places, like Hammons Field?
3. Or maybe having a drink listening to a good band
4. Or on a beach somewhere warm.

Four Books I Loved
1. Tao Te Ching by Lao Tzu
2. Deep Thoughts by Jack Handy
3. Henderson the Rain King by Saul Bellow
4. Underworld by Don DeLillo

Four Video Games I Love
1. None - I'm a little behind the curve on this.

Four Tags
1. Everybody I link to has already been tagged.
2. Dick Cheney (should be tagged on his ear so he can be tracked)
3. Dee Wampler (Season's Greetings Asshole!)
4. South Dakota Legislature (real hard)

Cheney Tool Decries Media "Jihad"

Things got a little dicey on Meet the Press today as Cheney spokesperson, Mary Matalin, in a typical Bush administration maneuver, went on the attack, attempting to put the media on the defensive and dodge the persistent questions about inconsistencies in the Cheney hunting story. MTP host, Tim Russert, allowed Matalin to spin freely for half the show, which left prescious little time for rebuttals or follow-up questions.

Matalin, in an exchange with NBC White House correspondent David Gregory, decried the media "jihad" against Vice President Cheney. She then described NY Times columnist and Cheney critic, Maureen Dowd, who sat across the table, as "the diva of the smart set." Dowd's response was the clearest statement of the broadcast:

The reason this story has evoked such fascination is because the vice president is like the phantom. You know, we hear the creak of the door as he passes, but we don't really know what he's up to. We don't know his schedule. We don't always know where he is. We don't know what democratic institution he's blowing off at any given minute, and so this allowed us to see how his behavior and judgment operated pretty much in real time -- with the delay, but pretty much in real time. ... And it covered all the problems of the Bush/Cheney administration: secrecy and stonewalling, then blowing off the rules that are at the heart of our democracy, then using a filter to try and put the truth out in a way that would most suit their political needs, and then bad political judgment in bungling a crisis. I mean, if there's one thing the Republicans are great at since Reagan, it's damage control. But he is such a control freak, you know, he doesn't even care about the damage. ... Mary, it isn't only the press. He blows off the FISA courts, he blows off the Geneva Conventions, he blows off the U.N. to go to Iraq. He wants to blow off everything. He's got a fever of about presidential erosion just the way he had a fever about going into Iraq.

Granted, the whole story became an obsession with the press, but when you're as dark and secretive and powerful as Cheney, what do you expect? Characterizing the media attention as a "jihad" cleverly brings the language of the ever-present War On Terror to the table, which effectively shuts off any meaningful debate. Well done, Mary - you've proven an old adage to be true - dogs really do take on their owners' personality traits.

There's a pretty good in-depth piece on Cheney in the latest Newsweek, entitled: The Shot Heard Round the World.

But it's not that big a story, really. Two guys out hunting with two women - not their wives, just a couple of nice Republican women - not drinking anything. Well, drinking just a little. Then, one of the men is accidentally shot in the face and neck at fairly close range (They claim 30 yards, but could that many pellets land in so condensed a space and penetrate a hunting jacket, clothing and lodge in the liver and heart? I'm not a hunter, can anybody enlighten here?).

Later, it turns out that the "eyewitness", Katherine Armstrong (described as "eyewitness" no fewer than six times in the news conference), who at first said she didn't know what was going on and assumed Cheney had suffered another heart attack, is somehow, just a day later, able to recall viewing the entire event with some detail.

And what about the other woman, Pamela Willeford? She was reportedly standing right next to Cheney when he fired. Who is she? Where was Lynne? We know that Willeford is the current ambassador to Switzerland and that she is figurehead president of Pico Drilling Company (oil drilling equip).

Is Pamela Willeford Dick Cheney's lover? Were there semen stains on her camouflage? Does she, in fact, bear some responsibility for Dick's premature firing? Where is Kenneth Starr when you need him?

Cheney Shoots From the Hip Again

Dick Cheney accidentally shot his hunting partner today - or yesterday. I think the story was held 24 hours for some reason, perhaps to avoid the Sunday morning talk show circuit. This raises all kinds of questions:

1) What is a guy with all kinds of health problems doing out tromping around with a shotgun?
2) How will Bill Clinton ultimately bear the responsibility for this?
3) Why wasn't Scalia with him when it could really do the country some good?
4) Will the public finally understand that this guy hasn't been shooting straight since he took office?
5) Is this the real reason why he had five deferments during the draft?
6) Will Rove spin the blame for this on the victim for stepping in front of Cheney's target?
7) Is Elmer Fudd really a heartbeat away from the presidency?

I've got to see Leno, Letterman and Stewart tomorrow night.

Radical Fundamentalists in Education

The King Fahd Academy in Bonn, Germany is a Saudi-funded private school for the children of Islamic families in the area. A few months ago, a German television station smuggled a camera into an academy classroom and recorded a teacher inciting a holy war in the name of Allah and advocating martial-arts training for their young Islamic terrorists of the future.

According to an article in Newsweek, "the Saudi government pumps tens of millions of dollars every year into such institutions around the world, including Islamic centers, mosques and schools named for King Fahd in Los Angeles, Moscow, Edinburgh and Malaga, Spain."

After the television station aired their hidden footage, the German government vowed to shut down the Bonn school, but quickly did an about-face after conferring with Saudi government officials. The Germans eventually backed down completely, citing "foreign policy reasons". A government spokesman recently praised the Kind Fahd school as an "important cultural institution" that contributed to good Saudi-German relations. Proving once again that when push comes to shove, links to money and oil outweigh any considerations about fighting institutionalized propaganda. Didn't the 9/11 terrorists hatch their plan in Germany?

Much has been said about how radical Islamic schools have been breeding young terrorists around the world, but then I read about another fundamentalist group spreading propaganda right here in the U. S., and the Bush administration seems to be doing everything in their power to help them spread their message of ignorance and mind control.

I'm talking here about those that espouse a complete rejection of instruction regarding evolution in the science classroom in favor of creationism. This does not bode well for the future of this country, especially when you consider the Bush administration (and our own boy-governor) is pushing public funding of private schools - where they can freely teach this anti-science propaganda to impressionable children.

A piece in the LA Times called "Their Own Version of a Big Bang" tells the story of a well-financed and popular (among Christian fundamentalists) new evangelical push that teaches children to openly question their science instruction. Austrailian evangelist, Ken Ham, is just one of many who have made a good living traveling around the country propagating this new brand of backward-thinking religious propaganda on thousands of school children.

During a recent stop at a school in New Jersey, Ham encouraged a group of 2,300 elementary school children, with the help of dinosaur puppets and silly cartoons, to reject much of geology, paleontology and evolutionary biology as a sinister tangle of lies.

"Boys and girls," Ham said. If a teacher so much as mentions evolution, or the Big Bang, or an era when dinosaurs ruled the Earth, "you put your hand up and you say, 'Excuse me, were you there?' Can you remember that?" The children roared as one, "Yes!".

Then he further works them into a frenzied state by leading them in cheers.

"Who's the only one who's always been there?" Ham asked.
"God!" the boys and girls shouted.
"Who's the only one who knows everything?"
"God!"
"So who should you always trust, God or the scientists?"The children answered with a thundering:
"God!"

How different is this from impressionable children in radical Islamic school chanting "Allah" at the exhortations of their fundamentalist indoctrinators?

"Who will help us fight the American infidel?"
"Allah!"
"Who will lead us in the jihad against the great Satan?"
"Allah!"

Evangelist Ham, a former biology teacher, likes to say that he is arming his youngsters with "Christian Patriot missiles" during his seminars and Christian pep rallies. The name of his ministry is called "Answers in Genesis".

According to the Times, this kind of "creation evangelism" has become a booming industry, with churches, colleges, private schools and rotary clubs providing venues for anti-evolutionary rallies.

With pulpit-thumping passion, Ham insists the Bible be taken literally: God created the universe and all its creatures in six 24-hour days, roughly 6,000 years ago. Answers in Genesis has an annual budget of $15 million to produce DVD's and home school materials. One popular seller is an alphabet rhyme that begins, "A is for Adam, God made him from dust / He wasn't a monkey, he looked just like us."

Ham's well-publicized speaking tours are supposedly booked three years in advance, and I see he does have Missouri listed on his itinerary. If you were wanting to preach this kind of baloney to Missourians, which part of the state would you pick?

Cartoon Mohammad, Hollywood Jesus

I received an odd piece of mail last week from an organization calling itself Saint Matthew's Church of Tulsa, Oklahoma. Of course, I'm immediately suspicious of any kind of religious material emanating from Tulsa, where Oral Roberts proffered up his peculiar brand of evangelical dementia.

This mailing contained a "Church Prayer Rug" depicting a rather effeminate image of our lord and savior, Jesus Christ, with his eyes closed, wearing the obligatory crown of thorns. At the bottom of the "rug", which was really nothing more than an 11 x 17 sheet of paper printed on both sides, there were some basic instructions.

Look into Jesus' Eyes you will see they are closed. But as you continue to look you will see His eyes opening and looking back into your eyes. Then go and be alone and kneel on the Rug of Faith or touch it to both knees. Then please check your needs on our letter to you. Please return this Prayer Rug. Do not keep it.

Cool! Sort of like a Highlights Magazine optical puzzle for believers. I gazed into his eyes, and sure enough, he stared back at me, somewhat cross-eyed.

There was an addressed, pre-paid mail envelope enclosed along with a checklist of prayer request that included: My Soul, A Closer Walk With Jesus, My Health, Confusion in My Home, My Children, To Stop a Bad Habit, A New Car . . . and on.

This Saint Matthew's Church, of course, wanted some compensation for petitioning the Lord on my behalf. They call it a "seed gift". The enclosed testimonials told of a woman in Maryland who mysteriously received $46,888.20 after sending in her prayer rug. "If I may have more blessings come again, I would like to help others," she said. Another woman testified that "God blessed us with $10,700. We went out and bought us a car!."

We all know this bogus St. Matthew's Church is not mainstream Christianity, but the truth is that churches have been using images of Christ to save souls and raise revenue for centuries. Hollywood has even exploited images of "The Christ" to churn up money. This is perhaps why so many westerners find it hard to understand why Islamic true believers get so bent out of shape when somebody prints a cartoon caricature of Mohammad in a newspaper.

Which image is more obscene? The one intended to persuade the ignorant to send money in the name of God, or the one that makes a political statement about violence and the killing of innocents in the name of God?

This weekend, thousands of frothing Islamic demonstrators took to the streets in Afghanistan, the West Bank, Iraq and New Zealand, and Danish and Norwegian embassies in Syria were set on fire by mobs who charged past security barriers.
All because of a cartoon image.

I'm wondering if maybe I should try to organize a march on Tulsa.

From Our Fear Monger-In-Chief

You don't see much of the vice president these days. It used to be a joke that VP's were only visible at funerals and conventions - kept in the background. Some were actually political opponents within the party, like Lyndon Johnson. The job disarmed them, so to speak.

But Cheney came to the Bush administration fully armed and seemingly obsessed with a long-brewed neocon scheme to conquer Iraq and install an oil-rich democracy in the Mideast. To that end, he has twisted the truth and blatantly lied many times to the media - it seems to be his function in this administration. And yet nobody seems willing or able to hold him accountable for pushing blatant propaganda on the American public. The following are snips from various interviews with Tim Russert on NBC's Meet the Press.

It's now public that, in fact, [Saddam] has been seeking to acquire... the kinds of tubes that are necessary to build a centrifuge. And the centrifuge is required to take low-grade uranium and enhance it into highly enriched uranium, which is what you have to have in order to build a bomb. [9/8/02]

"We do know, with absolute certainty, that [Saddam] is using his procurement system to acquire the equipment he needs in order to enrich uranium to build a nuclear weapon." [9/8/02]

"Well, I think I've just given it, Tim, in terms of the combination of his development and use of chemical weapons, his development of biological weapons, his pursuit of nuclear weapons... It's only a matter of time until he acquires nuclear weapons." [3/14/03]

"We know that he has a long-standing relationship with various terrorist groups, including the al-Qaeda organization." [3/14/03]

"We learned more and more that there was a relationship between Iraq and al-Qaeda." [9/23/03]

None of the above statements were true, and he knew full well at the time. No wonder he stays in his bunker.

Impeachment and the State of the Union

Nobody I know is seriously considering the impeachment of our stealth president, Dick Cheney, and his sidekick George Bush. But like a lot of people, I've read the list of possible offenses, and they seem pretty valid, especially when considering the human carnage and suffering they have exacerbated - and I also remember vividly the Clinton impeachment with all its sordid drama and moral outrage. It was an embarrassment. A Bush/Cheney impeachment would be incredibly ugly. I'm wondering if the American people have the stomach to expose the world to the inner workings of their crooked, corporatized executive branch.

As Gore Vidal says in his essay, President Jonah, "Not since the glory days of Watergate and Nixon's Luciferian fall has there been so much written about the dogged deceits and creative criminalities of our rulers."

I ran across this article from The Texas Observer by Ronnie Dugger, and it's better than anything I could write on the subject of a possible Bush/Cheney indictment or impeachment. He touches on crucial questions about America - the values of its leaders and the people who elected them. I think there's a little embarrassment down in Texas - that they helped grease their favorite son's ascendance to bungling leader the free world. I don't blame them.

This country has taken a path under the Bush/Cheney administration that is a radical departure from life as I knew it growing up here in god's country. Our representatives to Congress, for instance, have never been so brazenly connected to big corporations and party fundraising as is Roy Blunt.

"Our elections are bought, and our government is run by and for the major transnational corporations," Dugger writes, and our boy Roy is right there making it happen with a wink and a nod from the Bushies. Everything's cool, the money is rolling in.

On Bush's grab for unconstitutional executive power, Dugger says "Bush announced in 2002 his illegal presidential policy that the United States can and will attack other nations first, waging war on them, when he so decides. He is now waging, as if he were doing it in our names, a bloody war of aggression against Iraq . . ."

And here we are four years later with 2,200 American soldiers dead, 35,000 Iraqi's killed (give or take 5,000), a terrorist group winning election in Palestine, U. S.-run secret prisons overseas, condoned torture by the military, warrantless wiretapping of American citizens, a massive national debt, $250 billion sucked away in Iraq, an emboldened, antagonistic Iran with nuclear capability . . . and let's not even talk about solving our considerable problems here at home with perhaps the most corrupt (and certainly the most corporate) Congress in history.

I remember talking to my neighbor out in the driveway before the 2000 election. We both thought the presidential election would be close, but we figured Gore would win. And he did, but that's another issue entirely.

Remember how people used to say it didn't matter who was president? "Six of one, half dozen of the other." Right. I may be grasping for a silver lining here, but do you think it's possible the disastrous Bush presidency might persuade more people to participate in the choosing of their leaders next November? Are enough people even paying attention? If not, I guess we will continue to get the leadership we deserve.

Do you ever wonder how a Gore administration would have dealt with 9/11?

On Tuesday, George Bush will take the podium and tell us how great things are. Just Pretend It's All Okay. But there's no telling what else is coming down the pike with these guys. I understand Bush is poised to solve the health care crisis in America, and we'll hear all about it Tuesday night. "And now, from the same folks who brought you Homeland Security's Rapid Response Katrina Team, Social Security Reform and the War in Iraq . . ."
Everybody knows this will go nowhere.

Speaking of state of the union addresses, here's a link to Bill Clinton's last State of the Union speech, just a reminder of what life was like before 9/11 - before all the fear-mongering, the lies, the corruption that the Bush/Cheney team and the Republican Congress have brought to the table.

Images of the Dead

Abortion will once again be a huge distraction in coming weeks as legislators wrestle with the parental consent issue - yet another attempt by fundamentalists to strip away by layers the laws that protect the privacy of pregnant women in America. A big anti-abortion rally is scheduled tomorrow in Washington with a plan to march on Congress and the Supreme Court, placards raised high.

The politics of life and death in this country are hard to understand. How the government, political movements and media deal with the images of death reveals an odd juxtapositioning.

Christian fundamentalists, for instance, revel in the bloody images of Christ, but they also use the image of an aborted fetus to bludgeon the public into understanding what they see as the true nature of abortion.

But where is the outrage when sensitized pro-life proponents come across images of Iraqi children whose bodies have been blown apart by bombs? Why are these images considered anti-war propaganda? A dead Iraqi child is just not their issue of choice, I guess.



And how can our government protect the rights of abortion protesters foisting obscene images upon women entering clinics but steadfastly refuse to let photographers capture the pristine image of caskets containing the remains of American soldiers returning from war overseas?

Three takes on Perception Management.

Apathy Paves Way For Blunt

It appears the upcoming House vote for Majority Leader will be a cake walk for our boy Roy. According to the Washington Post, congressmen returning to their districts for the break are finding that nobody much cares about the upcoming leadership vote. This is a big boost for status quo candidate, Roy Blunt, whose own ethical lapses involving Jack Abramoff's lobbying interests and Tom DeLay's tainted PAC money have made him the GOP's poster boy for extra-legal fundraising in Congress.

Blunt's ethical lapses have been neatly air-brushed by the our Gnews-Leader editorialists, but the Washington Post had this to say:

"The lack of grass-roots enthusiasm for broad changes on Capitol Hill may work to the advantage of Rep. Roy Blunt (R-Mo.), several legislators said. By most estimates, he is leading the race to become the next House majority leader -- despite his extensive connections to lobbyists, including some involved in the Abramoff scandal."

Everything I've read indicates that the Abramoff depositions to federal prosecutors will entwine a multitude of prominent Republicans in the legislative and executive sectors, so it seems very unlikely that our boy Roy will emerge from this with his squeaky clean, good Christian image intact. But these revelations are not likely to appear in the media until after the GOP leadership elections (and maybe never in Roy's fan club newsletter, the News-Leader). And even if Blunt is exposed as just another in a long line of corrupt politicians seeking money for special interests, does it really matter to the straight-ticket voters here in God's Country? I doubt it.

Fact is, voters here would more likely turn on Blunt for dumping his wife of 31 years to marry a younger woman than they would for him secretly inserting provisions in leglislation that helps his sweety's tobacco firm. I can just see the sleazy commericials . . . but wait, Roy's a Republican, not a Democrat. As disorganized and feckless as the Democrats are sometimes, they do have enough class and integrity not to stoop to GOP's level of personal smear.

My prediction: if Abramoff information starts leaking to the press in the next couple of weeks and there aren't any big terrorism stories in the news, Roy loses the secret ballot vote, and John Shadegg becomes Majority Leader. If nothing new emerges, Roy leads the chorus for lobbying reform and is home free to replace his mentor Tom DeLay.

"Perception Becomes Reality"

It seems the News-Leader is intent on "Perception Management" when it comes to supporting Roy Blunt in his candidacy for House Majority Leader. Editorial page editor Robert Leger became the official media apologist for Roy Blunt today, pointing out that . . .

"Rep. Roy Blunt's quest to become the House majority leader is a major local story for southwest Missouri. If he is successful, it will assure continued federal support for key Ozarks projects such as highway improvements, university research, water quality protection and Jordan Valley Park."

But isn't obtaining federal support for district projects what any good Congressman would do for his constituency? True, it would be a lot more fun for the local paper to cover a House Majority Leader than another bland party functionary like Gene Taylor, but is Leger really being completely open with his readers when he says . . .

"No evidence has surfaced that Blunt crossed legal lines like DeLay did. He doesn't make a habit of dining or traveling with lobbyists other than his wife. The amount Abramoff donated to Blunt's leadership PAC is relatively minor."

Technically, Blunt probably didn't cross legal lines, and he won't be indicted like DeLay, but his well-documented ethical lapses - his eleventh-hour addition to a Homeland Security bill to benefit big tobacco interests (not to mention his sleeping with a lobbyist working for said interests), his letters sent on behalf of Abramoff clients to protect their gambling interests in Mississippi, his shuffling of PAC monies to help his son's candidacy back home - does anybody really know how much tainted money ended up in ROYB's coffers?

But Leger shrugs off such questions. "For purists," he says, "any liaison with lobbyists is suspect. Perception becomes reality."

Perception has become reality for Roy Blunt. In reality, Blunt actually did do Jack Abramoff's bidding by writing letters to the Department of Interior urging them to limit tribal expansion that would compete with Abramoff's casino clients. In reality, Blunt did try to attach an after-hours rider that would benefit Philip-Morris, the company that employed his girlfriend. And, as far as we can tell, none of this directly benefited Blunt's constituency in the Ozarks.

Of course, Blunt is now calling for lobbying reform, but this seems a little disingenuous given the fact that he was the main GOP connection to K Street during the lobbyist feeding frenzy that has characterized this Republican-controlled Congress. In effect, Blunt is calling for lobbying reform to curb his own questionable behavior. I guess that's admirable.

Despite what the News-Leader would have its readers believe, Roy Blunt isn't the "aw shucks" former social studies teacher who was sent to Washington to inherit the GOP's 7th District seat. He has become nothing more than a very effective full-time fundraiser for the Republican Party - and what's worse, he has chosen to favor a new constituency while he was away. Blunt has represented lobbyists and PAC's more than his own people back here in Southwest Missouri - and that perception-turned-reality is precisely why his once promising bid to become Majority Leader is now in jeopardy.

Fight for Leadership Gets Ugly

Roy Blunt's campaign to permanently replace Tom DeLay as House Majority Leader took a couple of body blows this week from members of his own party. First, a new candidate for the post, John Shadegg (R-AZ) threw his hat in the ring, and many GOP conservatives appear ready to jump on his bandwagon as an alternative to the status quo (Blunt/DeLay).

A second blow to Blunt's ambitions came when a printed timeline depicting a series of Abramoff/Blunt connections began circulating among GOP house members this week. The timeline shows the following:

June 1999 - Abramoff donates $5,000 to ROYB fund.
February 2000 - Abramoff donates an additional $1,500 to ROYB Fund.
March 2000 - Abramoff donates maximum amount to Matt Blunt's campaign for Missouri Secretary of State.
April 2000 - Abramoff's Mariannas Island client donates $3,000 to ROYB fund.
April 2000 - Abramoff client, Juan Franco (Puerto Rico), contributes $3,000 to ROYB fund.
August 2000 - Blunt and DeLay host Republican National Committee events sponsored in part by Abramoff client, the Mississippi Band of Choctaws.
September 2000 - Blunt requests GAO study on tribal recognition issues and simultaneously seeks a six month moratorium on further tribal recognition - protecting existing casinos from further competition.
February 2002 - GAO report on tribal recognition issued.
March 2002 - Blunt writes letter to Department of Interior citing the GAO report and expressed specific concerns about the Jenna Band of Choctaws and their status in Louisiana. The Jenna Band would have been competition for Abramoff's client with tribal recognition approval.
March 2003 - Abramoff contributes to ROYB fund.
May 2003 - Blunt sends letter to Department of Interior Secretary Gale Norton regarding his concerns about Indian gaming and specifically the Jenna Band in Louisiana.
June 2003 - Blunt joins DeLay, House Speaker Hastert and House Majority Whip Cantor in penning another letter to DOI Secretary Norton regarding the opposed Jenna Band casino.

Isn't it nice to know that Roy is up there in Washington representing our interests here in God's Country? Here is a guy who needs virtually no money whatever to retain his permanent 7th District House seat, and he's up there throwing his influence around trying to protect a favorite lobbyist who is concerned about his client losing gambling revenue in Mississippi.

Further, here we are in socially conservative Southwest Missouri, where family values and high moral character are political euphemisms for "Republican" - yet we continue to elect a guy who goes to Washington and totally immerses himself in party fundraising - not that there's anything inherently wrong with that - but it gets to the point where the lobbyists become his primary constituents. And he gets so cozy with some lobbyists - is literally in bed with one Philip-Morris lobbyist - that he dumps his wife of 31 years and subsequently attempts to sneak a provision into the massive Homeland Security bill that would have aided the very tobacco firm that just happens to be represented by the lobbyist who shares his bed.

Where is the outrage here in God's Country?

Don't expect to see any of this on KY3 or the Gnews-Leader either. No, our local media has remained characteristically silent on the disturbing series of revelations regarding our elected representative to Congress. That's not to say there aren't folks in the local media who wouldn't love to run a big expose' on Blunt's ethical lapses. It just ain't happening, given the "walking-on-eggshells" approach local media has with their conservative reader/viewers. It would be like telling a small child that the Easter Bunny was a fraud (oh, for an image of Roy in bunny ears). Maybe the St. Louis and K. C. media will start making some noise about this.

Oh, and here's another little timeline I ran across in the New York Daily News that further implicates our boy-governor in this fundraising shell game.

March 30, 2000 - DeLay's ARMPAC fund donates $50,000 to Blunt's ROYB fund.
April-May 2000 - ROYB fund pays $40,000 to Alexander Strategy Group, which is run by DeLay's former chief of staff. Christine DeLay also works there. (ASG is closing its doors this month due to the Abramoff scandal.)
April 14, 2000 - Abramoff client from Marinna Islands (garment manufacturer fined by the U. S. government for sweatshop practices) contributes $3,000 to ROYB fund.
May 9, 2000 - ROYB fund contributes $1,000 to Cancer Research Foundation by way of political consultant Jim Ellis (indicted with DeLay), who runs ARMPAC.
May 24, 2000 - ARMPAC contributes $100,000 to ROYB fund.
June 15, 2000 - ROYB fund contributes $100,000 to Missouri Republican Party, which in turn eventually donates a total of $160,000 to Matt Blunt's campaign for Missouri Secretary of State.
October/November 2000 - DeLay's ARMPAC fund contributes $50,000 to Missouri Republic Party.
November 2000 - Matt Blunt is elected Missouri Secretary of State.
November/December 2000 - the Missouri Republican Party contributes $50,000 back to ARMPAC.
November 2000 - Abramoff charges Marinna Island client for meetings held with Trevor Blackann, an aide to Roy Blunt.
September 2001 - Abramoff lobbyist for Marinna Island client meets with Blunt staffer John Dutton to discuss strategies in fighting a minimum wage bill. The minimum wage bill never made it into law.

I'm just wondering how much tainted PAC money found its way to our boy-governor's gubernatorial campaign?

Abramoff "Just As Close to Blunt"

While our esteemed 7th District Congressman, Roy Blunt, is trying desperately to downplay his cozy relationship with indicted lobbyist/swindler Jack Abramoff, it appears that the Abramoff stain just won't wash out.

We ran across a November 2002 feel-good piece by John Bresnahan in Washington Business Forward that introduces mover-and-shaker Jack Abramoff as the lobbyist who is taking Washington by storm. The article begins:

"Greenberg Traurig’s Jack Abramoff is the most unlikely establishment Washington lobbyist: he made his bones producing a Dolph Lundgren movie, working with Indian casinos and doing a riverboat gambling deal that turned messy. Now Abramoff has emerged as an insider’s insider, with close ties to top Republicans and a hefty book of business. But even with his ally Tom DeLay poised to become House Majority Leader, Abramoff’s still found time to go into the restaurant business. Don’t bet against him."

The piece is pure fluff, with lines like: "It’s classic Abramoff: He’s a master at making money while pushing his conservative, free-market ideals." But there's an interesting quote near the end of Breshahan's little promotional that flies in the face of Blunt's earnest denials that he and Abramoff were fundraising pals for several years running. In this interview, Abramoff made an effort to downplay his close relationship with Tom DeLay by naming other associates who were dear to his heart and pocketbook.

“The DeLay thing is played up a lot in terms of our relationship. The fact is when I pitch a client, I never mention Tom DeLay. I never say I know Tom DeLay.” Abramoff says he’s just as close to other Republicans, like Reps. Roy Blunt (MO), Christopher Cox (CA), John Doolittle (CA), Phil Crane (IL) and Dana Rohrabacher (CA)."

The Washington Business Forward piece closes with this ironic little bit of smarm . . .

"Beyond the political world, it’s Abramoff himself who’s a bit unheard of, but that won’t last for long." I'll bet Ol' Roy is wishing he'd never heard of the guy.

Washington Post Links to Ozarks Angel

This probably isn't all that newsworthy, but I thought it was pretty cool that the Washington Post online edition printed a lead from the "Blunt, Inc." piece I posted here last night. It was one of several blogs in a "Who's Blogging About This Article" they feature each day.

I watched Matt Blunt trying to deliver a rousing State of the State speech tonight on public television. He did mention his 65% solution for fixing public education, but I don't think it's going to be high on his agenda this session - too much criticism of his little trial balloon last month.

Daddy Roy was on the tube as well during the evening news, trying to persuade folks that he didn't really know Jack Abramoff and that he'd already returned the measly $8,500 he'd received "over a six year period". Gimmee a break, Roy. This is the same Congressman who was on a short list of VIP customers treated to free meals at Abramoff's swank restaurant in D. C. And the "$8,500 over six years" is just laughable - maybe that was all the money that came directly from Abramoff, but this guy was a master at shuffling donations from one PAC or bogus charitable organization to another. My guess is that a careful look at the tortuous money trails these guys put together would reveal considerably more than $8,500 of tainted money resting in ROYB's political coffers. You can bet on one thing - the more air time the Abramoff scandal receives, the less likely it is that Blunt assumes his much-coveted Majority Leader spot.

Blunt, Inc.

Thomas B. Edsall, of the Washington Post, wrote an interesting piece last May on the rapid rise of Roy Blunt and the incredibly vast network of lobbyists and corporate donors that have made him one of the most well-financed representatives on the hill. The story, entitled House Majority Whip Exerts Influence by Way of K Street, outlines how Roy, his new lobbyist wife Abigail and sons Matt and Andrew have benefited greatly since Roy took office as our 7th District Representative in 1997 and began schmoozing around with big money interests.

Blunt's corporate and K Street connections have grown at an uncanny rate over the past eight years - to the point that his own financial holdings through PACs and re-election committees rival, or even surpass those of his mentor, Tom DeLay. In short, Blunt has become the GOP's "key liaison to lobbyists . . . who direct the flow of individual and political action committee contributions from the 1,600 corporations and 1,200 trade associations with PACs." Hence the moniker Blunt, Inc.

"Here in Washington, Blunt has converted what had been an informal and ad hoc relationship between congressional leaders and the Washington corporate and trade community into a formal, institutionalized alliance. Lobbyists are now an integral part of the Republican whip operation on par with the network of lawmakers who serve as assistant whips."

So, according to the Washington Post, at least, we can thank our boy Roy for helping to create the lobbyist feeding frenzy that has overtaken D. C. during the Bush years - a climate that has helped breed the likes of our favorite fedora-wearing shyster, Jack Abramoff.

Blunt's campaign committee has raised some $8.58 million since 1997, including $3.35 million to his (not one, but two) Rely On Your Belief funds (ROYB) from 2000 to 2002. Altria, SBC Communications, Union Pacific, Burlington Northern, Verizon, United Parcel Service and BellSouth are major corporate contributors.

Roy Blunt: Man of the People.

Within the next three weeks or so, House Republicans are going to elect a new slate of leaders in the wake of the DeLay indictment and the looming Abramoff scandal. One wonders if they have the will to really make some meaningful changes. If the GOP has any inkling of making true reforms in their party operations in Congress, they might want push ethically challenged fundraiser types like Blunt to the background and place some people with higher ideals in positions of leadership. I wonder, what's the likelihood of that happening?

Roy Blunt - Ethically Challenged

It will be interesting to see if the mainstream media will ever reveal what so many people in Washington, D. C. already know about Roy Blunt's trail of ethical missteps during his climb to Majority Whip and interim Majority Leader. Here are a few questionable activities that the good folks here in God's Country probably don't want to hear about:

*Blunt divorced Roseanne Blunt, his wife of 31 years, in 2003 to marry Abigail Perlman, a lobbyist with Philip Morris tobacco, now owned by Altria.

*Altria is the largest single contributor to Blunt's Political Action Committee (PAC), Rely on Your Beliefs (ROYB), giving some $270,000 to his personal PAC.

*Just hours after taking the role of Majority Whip (Blunt was hand-picked by his mentor, slimeball Majority Leader Tom DeLay), and before anyone knew of his association with Ms. Perlman, Blunt attempted to secretly insert a last-minute provision to Homeland Security legislation that would have benefited Philip Morris at the expense of their competitors. Exactly how this was to further protect the homeland has yet to be explained. An aide to House Speaker Dennis Hastert discovered the stealth insertion and Hastert immediately had it deleted from the bill. Blunt's bold move to aid a big campaign contributor without notifying House leadership surprised many in Washington, but little was said in the media.

*Altria also contributed $24,000 to Matt Blunt's gubernatorial campaign.

*Blunt's younger son, Andrew, landed a sweet lobbyist position with Altria in Missouri just a few years out of college. He is also a lobbyist for UPS in Missouri. Both UPS and Altria are major contributors to ROYB.

*In April, Blunt successfully inserted, once again without debate or Congressional review, a provision to a Senate bill that benefited UPS and FedEx shipping companies. The bill blocked expansion of a foreign shipping competitor. UPS and FedEx have contributed a combined $120,000 to Blunt since 2001.

*Blunt is the largest single contributor ($20,000) to the legal defense fund of Jack Abramoff's good buddy, Tom DeLay.

*Jack Abramoff's phony U. S. Family Network received $500,000 from the National Republican Congressional Committee (NRCC), which was later fined $280,000 for this little under-the-table transaction. Blunt's future wife, Abigail Perlman, was the finance director for NRCC at the time.

*Blunt's ROYB fund operated out of the same townhouse suite with Abramoff's U. S. Family Network and, for a time, was run by Tom DeLay's buddy, Jim Ellis, who now faces indictment.

Oh what a tangled web this is . . . and our boy Roy seems to be right in the thick of it all. It's no wonder that he's been listed as one of the thirteen most corrupt members of Congress by Beyond DeLay.

Mooning On the Sandbar

A judge in Maryland ruled last week that mooning, exposing one's buttocks in public, was not an illegal act in Maryland. The ruling settled a dispute involving board members of a home owners association. Lawyers for the 44-year-old defendant argued that their client merely exposed his buttocks and that a 1986 Washington, D. C. Court of Appeals ruled that indecent exposure is limited to a person's genitals. One lawyer quipped that this would be a favorable ruling for all beachgoers and plumbers.

I, for one, agree whole-heartedly with this ruling. Just yesterday, my friend and I were walking along the sand bar, and as she paused to look at a piece of driftwood, I stopped to take her picture. She objected and directed an obscene gesture toward the camera. I complained that I only wanted to snap a nice picture - the light was nice. To which, she turned and lowered her jeans, presumably as an act of protest. I was shocked - but was still able to catch her exercising her freedom of expression on this lovely 60-degree January day. Happy New Year!

Missouri GOP's Dirty Money Trail

The coming months will be uncomfortable ones for many GOP politicians, including our own 7th District representative and acting house majority leader, Roy Blunt. I saw Roy's picture on the evening news tonight - it was right next to a shot of the nefarious Tom DeLay and beleaguered Ohio congressman, Bob Ney. Looks like good old Roy really has made it big this time.

Republican lobbyist Jack Abramoff's guilty plea to three felony counts of conspiracy, mail fraud and tax evasion opens pandora's box to one of the worst cases of Washington, D. C. corruption in a couple of generations. So far, GOP leaders have been relatively quiet - perhaps waiting for another natural disaster to take the headlines - but they have managed to utter a few weak defenses, such as . . . "He gave money to Democrats, too."

Well, I checked into that, and here's a list of recipients of Abramoff donations since 2000 as compiled by the non-partisan Center for Responsive Politics:

Tom DeLay (R-Texas). John Ashcroft (R-Mo.). Frank A. LoBiondo (R-NJ). Eric Cantor (R-Va.). Arlen Specter (R-Pa.). John Ensign (R-Nev.). Johnny Isakson (R-Ga.). Charles H. Taylor (R-NC). Chris Cannon (R-Utah). Chuck Grassley (R-Iowa). Mark Foley (R-Fla.). Richard Pombo (R-Calif.). Christopher S. "Kit" Bond (R-Mo.). Curt Weldon (R-Pa.). Dana Rohrabacher (R-Calif.). Doug Ose (R-Calif.). Ernest J. Istook (R-Okla.). George R. Nethercutt Jr. (R-Wash.). Jim Bunning (R-Ky.). Richard C. Shelby (R-Ala.). Tom Feeney (R-Fla.). Dan Burton (R-Ind.). Eric Cantor (R-Va.). Suzanne Terrell (R-La.). Rob Simmons (R-Conn.). Charles W. "Chip" Pickering Jr. (R-Miss.). Connie Morella (R-Md.). Gordon H. Smith (R-Ore.). James M. Inhofe (R-Okla.). James M. Talent (R-Mo.). John T. Doolittle (R-Calif.). John Thune (R-SD). Tim Hutchinson (R-Ark.). Bob Smith (R-Fla.). Bob Ney (R-Ohio). CL. "Butch" Otter (R-Idaho). Carolyn W. Grant (R-NC). Denny Rehberg (R-Mont.). Elizabeth Dole (R-NC). Heather Wilson (R-NM). J. Randy Forbes (R-Va.). Jack Kingston (R-Ga.). James V. Hansen (R-Utah). John Cornyn (R-Texas). Kimo Kaloi (R-Hawaii). Marilyn Musgrave (R-Colo.). Mike Ferguson (R-NJ). Mike Simpson (R-Idaho). Ralph Regula (R-Ohio). Ric Keller (R-Fla.). Saxby Chambliss (R-Ga.). Ted Stevens (R-Alaska). Thad Cochran (R-Miss.). Dave Camp (R-Mich.). Phil Gingrey (R-Ga.). Tom Young (R-Ala.). Bill Janklow (R-SD). Craig Thomas (R-Wyo.). Spencer Abraham (R-Mich.). William L. Gormley (R-NJ). Bill McCollum (R-Fla.). Bill Redmond (R-NM). Bob Riley (R-Ala.). Claude B. Hutchison Jr. (R-Calif.). Denny Rehberg (R-Mont.). Francis E. Flotron (R-Mo.). George Allen (R-Va.). Mike Enzi (R-Wyo.). Walter B. Jones Jr. (R-NC). Paul Ryan (R-Wis.). Bob Smith (R-Fla.). Joe Pitts (R-PA). Charles H. Taylor (R-NC). Bob Ehrlich (R-Md.). Charles R. Gerow (R-Pa.). Ed Royce (R-Calif.). Elia Vincent Pirozzi (R-Calif.). Jerry Weller (R-Ill.). Mark Emerson (R-Utah). Tom Davis (R-Va.). Van Hilleary (R-Tenn.).

Notice the "R" in each case. But where is Roy?

One of Abramoff's money laundering setups was a PAC called, cynically enough, the "U. S. Family Network", which was basically one employee manning a phone and computer in the backroom of a D. C. townhouse. Millions in illicit funds swindled from Indian tribes and shady Russian gas and oil magnates came through this office. And guess whose own personal PAC shared office space with the Abramoff front? None other that our own Roy Blunt's "Rely On Your Beliefs" (clever acronym - ROYB).

There's an interesting article in the New Republic about how warm and fuzzy Roy and Tom DeLay have become over the past five years - and how this association may eventually lead to our golden boy's fall from grace.

DeLay was instrumental in boosting Blunt's rise to power in Congress, but Blunt (and his lobbyist wife) also became involved in DeLay's fundraising network, which led him into the great political fundraising arena with none other than the master of slime, Jack Abramoff.

Abramoff also reportedly gave the Bush campaign $100,000 of his ill-gotten gains. The White House, of course, denies this.

Ah, don't ya just love the GOP with their high moral stand and Family Values? One can only hope that this scandal will be the beginning of the end of their nauseating brand of "Christian" ethics in government. Almost makes you wistful for the good old days when the Dems were in power, when we dealt with simpler transgressions like questionable book deals and using congressional postage meters for campaign mail.

Interested in finding out more about who contributes to candidates? Visit a new local blog called Granny Geek. Interesting stuff.

The 2005 Ozarks Angel

I started this blog back in May when I had a couple of days off from work due to a swollen nut. That healed up nicely, in case you were wondering, but I'm still paying the $800 bill. Gotta love our healthcare system - oh, and my wonderful school health insurance covered a whopping $82. Anyway, that was an unlikely topic to start a blog, but there it is. Now, some 3,400 clicks later, we're still plugging away. Here's a review of the year 2005 sifted through some of the Ozarks Angel posts.

Of course, the really huge story that christened this crazy year of 2005 was the slow discovery of the devastation incurred by the killer tsunami that swept away some quarter of a million lives in Asia. Here at home, president Bush was characteristically distant and, despite daily briefings, seemingly uninformed about the magnitude of this disaster - a foreshadowing of his lackadaisical response to the Katrina disaster seven months later. It seems Bush can only get himself worked up if there's evil afoot. These natural disasters just don't move him much, whether foreign or in the "homeland". There's no bad guy involved. It does seem odd, though, that a man who feels called of God to fight tyranny (at least in oil-rich parts of the world) can be so indifferent to cataclysmic acts of God that dwarf his man-made crusade in Iraq.

By March of 2005, the American public and media, which we now can confirm suffers from acute Attention Deficit Disorder, had turned its attention to the plight of Terri Schiavo, whose feeding tube was finally yanked after numerous judicial appeals and a great gnashing of teeth from the Christian right - but not before a special session of Congress was called by Republican leadership as they sought to keep her brain-dead body alive for still more court appeals. President Bush, at the urging of his handlers, leaped to action this time and cut his vacation short in order to get the federal courts to deter Ms. Schiavo's natural departure from this life. Talk about skewed priorities. The Ozarks Angel spoke briefly to this issue when we reviewed an article from an Assemblies of God. Strange, we don't get mail from A/G anymore.

Pope John Paul II died in April - like Schiavo, another case of a person living too long. Not to be disrespectful, but this once vital and energetic man, who will be regarded as one of the greatest popes of modern times for helping to bring down the Soviet empire, was reduced in his final days to muttering unintelligible homilies and waving at pigeons from his balcony. Some of my best friends are Catholic, but I've never understood the appeal of this religion. I see Catholicism, from my vantage point here in the hills, as a male-dominated, authoritarian, superstition-filled holdover from medieval times. I don't think the new pope is going to do much to alter that view, but we mentioned back in July how folks here in God's Country seem to like Pope Benedict, particularly for his stand against homosexuality.

In May, we wrote about how the Springfield police had busted Mayor Carlson's son and fast-tracked the lab work in order to beat the mayoral election. Chief Rowe brought in a buddy from Miami, Florida, of all places, to oversee the internal investigation. This intense search for the facts, of course, turned up no misdeeds whatsoever by SPD. Was anybody shocked? The story was basically buried, and Carlson's son pleaded guilty a few weeks ago.

In Middle School Mind, we see a teacher trying to explain the Iraq invasion to a class of inquisitive adolescents. Some seven months later, the concluding statement still stands true.
"So, based on the newspaper day discussion in Exploratory class, one could conclude that we are at war in Iraq more out of ignorance than duty and that our busy lives won't allow us the time nor the inclination to find the truth behind the spin."
Some of the Bush spin on Iraq has come unraveled a bit since then, but even the most obvious truths become a hard sell when lies and half-truths are so persuasively marketed by those in power. Here in God's Country, Bush still gets high marks for his handling of the war - but Vlad the Impaler would get high marks around here if he was a Republican.

Probably the most frequently downloaded image from Ozarks Angel is the Hammons Field photo from May 30. I still maintain the return of real minor league baseball was the most significant event in Springfield in the last fifty years.


Another very popular download (even though I stole it from another website) is the photo of Washington girl-about-town, Jessica Cutler, whose between-the-sheets blog, The Washingtonienne, revealed the secret sex lives of certain anonymous diplomats. My favorite line: "Oh my god, I'm fucking six different men, ew." Ms. Cutler has a new blog called Jessica Cutler Online.

In July, I found myself whining about the mainstream media and wondered if the Valerie Plame scandal might finally get some people looking at the unethical and unconstitutional activities of the Bush administration. I speculated that Cheney and Rove were behind the whole thing, and that has turned out to be accurate. It looks as though Rove lied to the grand jury, and Cheney's little toady, Scooter Libby, was chosen as the one to fall on his sword to protect our stealth president from indictment.

In mid-July, we featured a story criticizing Bush's war on terror, pointing out how he and his neocon pals ignored advice from nearly every quarter in pressing for war in Iraq. One of our dictator allies in the Middle East, Hosni Mubarak of Egypt, who "won" re-election in a fixed vote this fall, was one of many world leaders who tried to dissuade Bush & Co. from invading Iraq. He warned that such an invasion would create 100 Bin Ladens and turn even moderate Arabs against the U. S. His warning proved to be true - the invasion of Iraq has inspired tens of thousands of young Islamic men to join the jihad against the infidel invaders from America. Our own military, however, is having trouble meeting recruitment quotas.

In late July and August we started posting some cartoons from the springfieldian, a little underground newspaper that circulated around town during the early 90's. These turned out to be some of the most frequently downloaded images from Ozarks Angel, especially SPD Blues and cartoon parodies of Charlie Brown and Garfield that had a local twist.

Another frequently visited story was the strange and twisted tale of the "Self-Abduction of Tim Carpenter", the James River Assembly associate pastor who chose to fake his own abduction rather than face up to his wife, family and church that he was carrying on with a Jezebel in Memphis. It would be funny if it weren't so sad.

In mid-August, right before the first day of school, our brilliant school board chose to roll back a much sought after tax levy, which sent all kinds of wrong signals to the community and to R-12 teachers. It was an awful start for new superintendent, Norm Ridder, but there will be much more on the education front in Ozarks Angel this year. Among other things, there's a new quality initiative being pushed by Dr. Ridder that could lead to some real changes at the administrative level and in the classroom. I'm hopeful but skeptical.

By September, we were talking about the Drowning of New Orleans and how warnings of impending disaster had been ignored for years. Of course, nothing was going to happen on that front during the Bush administration. Yer doin' a great job Bushie!

If hurricane Katrina exposed the administration's indifference to the poor, the nomination of Harriet Miers exposed Bush's blatant arrogance and ignorance when it came to high-stakes judicial appointments. Our Girl Harriet generated the most heated comments from readers - mainly because of my description of Supreme Court justice Clarence Thomas as an Uncle Tom. It's never helpful to bring race into the discussion, but I've always felt it was a very cynical appointment by daddy Bush. The Miers appointment surprised everybody - and the fact that conservatives were the most vocal critics sure surprised me. She would have done anything they wanted - but the nomination seemed so cavalier and disrespectful to the court, even the faithful stepped back from this one. The emperor's clothes were starting to unravel a bit.

In October we wrote about the Community Safety Initiative that would have funded a new crime lab and, more importantly, a program aimed at providing education services to poor children in a cooperative effort with the school system. The local citizenry were predictably wary of this "big government" approach to helping poor kids. "Let the parents take care of this," they wrote in letters to the editor. "It's big government taking over the family". The sad truth is, a growing number of parents aren't taking care of their children - it's a huge problem that nobody wants to talk about. Early childhood development is simply not a major concern here in God's country. We simply invest in bigger and better prisons to later house the large segment of under-educated poor folks who end up turning to drugs and criminal behavior to get by. Who will take up the slack and help the growing number of children born into poverty? Apparently nobody. Where do we look for help in dealing with poverty-related issues like this? Jefferson City? D. C.? Nothing there but cutbacks and vaccuous rhetoric. Maybe Jesus will come and save the children, you suppose? This local initiative was relatively small, but it had the potential to pay huge dividends in lowering crime and providing early basic education for poor children in our community. I was one of the minority of Springfieldians who were willing to invest an additional penny for every four dollars spent on this plan. The CSI initiative was, of course, summarily squashed by local voters in November.

Merry Christmas, Yada, Yada

I gave all my classes a test on the last day before Christmas break. Humbug! One kid asked why I was such a Scrooge, and my answer went something like this:

The original cause for celebration was suppose to be the birth of a spiritual being whose life and teachings changed the entire world and inspired countless millions of followers to love their neighbors as themselves, pursue peace over war and violence, protect the innocent, take care of the poor and sick and to spread love and understanding among all people, regardless of their social standing.

And what do we now do to celebrate this spiritual being's birth? We get out our credit cards and shop like madmen . . . we measure the season's success by keeping a close eye on consumer spending, credit card debt and whether or not massive department stores match their earnings estimates. We erect quaint little prop-up manger scenes outside fast food restaurants - I saw one manger scene in front of a Baptist church that had Santa Claus kneeling with the wise men. Aww, how precious.

It took generations to bastardize the Christmas season into this blind orgy of mass consumerism, but here we are, lining up like lemmings trying to get in the mall, deluding ourselves into thinking this is a spiritual holiday.

The best thing I can say about the holiday season is that, for better or worse, it brings families together. True, we dutifully buy gifts for people we don't care about much, but we also take time to give of ourselves to those we love immeasurably, and that is no small thing to remember. It helps get me through it all.

Oral Arguments for Impeachment

from Lady Bunny Blog

No Surprise From Gov. Blunt

As if on cue, the morning after yesterday's Ozarks Angel post about how a Washington, D. C. political action group is supplying talking points for Republican politicians on education "reform", our esteemed boy-governor Blunt stepped right up and submits a News-Leader guest editorial that parrots virtually every point we wrote about last night. How wonderful it must be to have other people do your thinking for you.

As predicted, Blunt spoke of supplying 65% of funding "directly to the classrooms", and then went to bat for raising teacher salaries, which he called, presumably with a straight face, "the most important part of any school district's budget". Blunt then went on to describe how appalled he was that Missouri teacher salaries are ranked 44th in the U. S.. (If you can find a Republican governor or legislator who has called for teacher salary increases in the last 25 years, I'll buy you lunch.)

Last night I wrote that this 65% solution aims to pit teachers against administrators and teacher organizations. Blunt obligingly says "as pay for teachers lags, pay increases for administrators have been nothing short of massive . . . the average Missouri superintendent has received three times the additional compensation that has been found for teachers . . . I certainly value the work of superintendents," Blunt writes, "but I value teachers more."

You can see that the governor is going directly to the voter with these arguments and is likely to get little, if any, support from school boards and administrators.

Let me again excerpt a memo from the Washington, D. C. political action group (First Class Education) that is pushing this proposal:

"With the First Class Education issue on the ballot, Republicans will have a viable answer to 'in the classroom improvement of education' without the need to call for a tax increase, offsetting budget cuts in other popular programs or gimmick accounting and deficit spending." The memo also states that there are other "tangential political advantages," such as pitting teachers and administrators against each other and building support for school vouchers."

Blunt has chosen to call this push "Putting Our Students First". He estimates that cuts in administration, libraries, counseling, bus transportation, janitorial services, cooks and other jobs and services will net over $270 million for the classroom (books, technology, resources and teacher salaries).

And all this without one dollar of additional taxes . . . that's the part that will play well to the GOP faithful here in the 7th district.

There was an excellent editorial rebuttal to Blunt's piece by former Nixa superintendent Terry Reid.

65% Solution Media Blitz Coming Soon

Be prepared for the next big thing in politically-motivated, GOP-backed bullshit regarding public education - the much-heralded and very controversial "65% Solution". It's coming to you via our esteemed boy-governor, Matt Blunt, in the form of a statewide referendum which is tentatively schedule for next November. I can almost hear the television commercials already.

This new educational shell game comes to us by way of a Washington, D. C. lobbying group called "First Class Education"(FCE) - an organization founded by millionaire entrepreneur Patrick M. Byrne, president of online shopping spot Overstock.com. Byrne, who is into martial arts and is a former boxer, fashions himself as the Robin Hood of public education. The 65% plan would supposedly improve classroom instruction by guaranteeing that 65% of all education revenue be directly targeted to teachers and students in the classroom. Sounds simple enough. This should play well here in God's country.

The idea is that educational bureaucracy promotes the mispending of education revenue on needless administrative fluff that is not directly related to the classroom. This sounds great on the surface. I've been one of the many teachers who believe there is a great deal of waste at the administrative level - not to mention some ridiculously high salaries. (The raise given Springfield's own superintendent last year represented 150% of my annual salary.)

Columnist George Will describes Byrne and his plan in an April Op-Ed piece in the Washington Post:

"Patrick Byrne, a 42-year-old bear of a man who bristles with ideas that have made him rich and restless, has an idea that can provide a new desktop computer for every student in America without costing taxpayers a new nickel. Or it could provide 300,000 new $40,000-a-year teachers without any increase in taxes. His idea -- call it the 65 Percent Solution -- is politically delicious because it unites parents, taxpayers and teachers while, he hopes, sowing dissension in the ranks of the teachers unions, which he considers the principal institutional impediment to improving primary and secondary education."

Politically delicious - yes indeed. This is why so many Republican governors are salivating at the idea of presenting this highly-marketable idea to the voting public. But is a referendum even necessary? Why not just present a bill and get it passed? Robert Leger, editorial page editor for our own News-Leader, questions Boy Blunt's motivation in his November 27 editorial. Leger wonders:

"So why a statewide vote? The top race on the November ballot will be the hotly contested campaign between Sen. Jim Talent and his Democratic challenger, Auditor Claire McCaskill. The issue conceivably helps the Republican.
Blunt, who has his own challenge from Attorney General Jay Nixon looming in 2008, would likely be featured in television ads supporting classroom teachers. That could help boost the image of a governor saddled with some of the lowest approval ratings in the nation."

Leger also mentions a memo emanating from the D. C. headquarters of "First Class Education which states:

"With the First Class Education issue on the ballot, Republicans will have a viable answer to 'in the classroom improvement of education' without the need to call for a tax increase, offsetting budget cuts in other popular programs or gimmick accounting and deficit spending.

The memo also lists other "tangential political advantages," such as pitting teachers and administrators against each other and building support for school vouchers."

Aha! The Trojan Horse has been exposed! This big initiative begins to look and sound very much like a Republican marketing plan to undo public education. How clever - plus, as an added bonus, it could also place teachers at odds with their own professional organizations like the NEA. FCE founder Byrne does little to hide his disdain for the nation's largest teacher's union. He once said that if he had one silver bullet he would use it to eliminate the NEA, an organization he views as a haven for "educrats". My experience, however, has been that the NEA has fought administrative over-spending and fluff in order to put more money into the classroom and increase teacher salaries, which is precisely what the "65% Solution" purports to do.

It's all very interesting. And I have to admit, even as an active NEA member, that the idea of cutting our top-heavy administrative positions and salaries in order to increase teacher pay and reduce class size makes perfect sense.

You can see how this will be marketed, and you can be sure the debate over this 'solution' will be loud and rancorous. Missouri NEA president, Greg Jung, has already issued a pointed rebuttal to the proposal, calling it "the 65% deception." Most opponents point to what they believe will be huge cuts in school libraries and counseling services, just for starters.

Though there are aspects of this 'solution' that appeal to me, I don't trust the GOP to back anything regarding public education because I strongly suspect their underlying long-term effort aims to promote a voucher system that will further stratify our society. On the other hand, I've been calling for education reform, particularly in the form of administrative cuts, for as long as I can remember.

Governor Blunt's little trial balloon on this issue sailed into town a couple of weeks ago, and it was routinely punctured by local school board officials, who criticized it as a "one size fits all" measure that imposed statewide standards indiscriminantly on diverse school systems - and diminishes local control. We'll be hearing more on this, you can bet on it.

Busch Stadium Going Down

I was in St. Louis a couple of weeks ago for a conference. I hadn't been to any such event in a long while - not since library days. Now that's a whole 'nother story, partying librarians. More on that later.

I shared a room with another teacher from a school across town. We got along just fine except for the fact that I had trouble sleeping both nights - probably due to the fact that it was just a strange place, and I'm a light sleeper.

Anyway, I was wide awake both mornings at the crack of dawn, and proceeded to explore downtown St. Louis before the city was awake. It was surprising how few cars and pedestrians were out and about at 6:00 a.m. I swear I saw a coyote walking around down by the arch, and several rabbits hopping around the hotel grounds.

No matter what direction I walked, I was always drawn toward Busch Stadium. Crews were working around the clock wrecking the historic landmark. Though I have never been a big Cardinals fan, I have spent many an hour watching some great baseball at Busch. The arch was a glistening backdrop to perfect symmetry of stadium roof. The pictures don't do it justice.

Next door to old Busch is the new Busch - a stadium built on the model of Camden Yard, a brand new vintage-style baseball field that looks older than the one it replaces. I guess it's a sign of the times that the new stadium will actually seat fewer baseball fans, but stadium revenue is expected to increase due to the construction of larger corporate clubs and boxes. Correct me if I'm wrong, but I think Missouri taxpayers footed a good deal of the bill for this demolition/construction - but fewer of them will be able to buy tickets to watch a game.

So, here are the early morning pics of the old space-aged Busch coming down. The wrecking ball was banging away, crushing concrete into dust clouds.

CIA Provided Bush Accurate Intel on 9/21/01

On September 21, 2001 - ten days after the 9/11 attacks - president Bush received a highly classified report from the CIA regarding possible links between Saddam Hussein and Al Qaeda. I read about this interesting bit of pre-war intelligence in a piece written by Murray Waas for the National Journal.

While the CIA and FBI took a lot of heat for not doing a better job of tracking the 9/11 terrorists before the attack, the CIA did provide what turned out to be very accurate information regarding the absence of a Saddam/Al Qaeda conspiracy leading up to the 9/11 attack.

It is becoming clear that the Bush administration was intent on cherry-picking their intelligence reports to back up their call for war. When the largest intelligence organization in the world didn't give them what they wanted, Cheney and Co. took their sources from wherever they could. Their groping around for threads from foreign spy networks led them to base some important pieces of their pro-war propaganda campaign on forged documents that somehow circumvented CIA inspection and were sent directly to the White House from some shady Italian spy-for-hire. The document was suppose to confirm that Saddam Hussein was trying to purchase yellow-cake uranium from a contact in Niger. This was the basis from Bush's dramatic "mushroom cloud" warning in his state of the union address (and the beginnings of Plamegate).

Another source was an Iraqi citizen who was interviewed and given a lie detector test by the CIA (more on this in a interesting Rolling Stone piece). This individual, code-named Curveball, supposedly had worked in the Iraqi chemical industry and was desperately trying to obtain a German visa. In his efforts to ingratiate himself with American and German authorities, he gave them what turned out to be totally fabricated information about Saddam's mobile chemical labs and plans to stockpile chemical weapons. Some of this guy's tall tale found its way into Colin Powell's speech before the United Nations - a speech he now regretably describes as "a real low point".

Here's another interesting snippet from the National Journal piece:

"One of the more intriguing things that Bush was told during the briefing was that the few credible reports of contacts between Iraq and Al Qaeda involved attempts by Saddam Hussein to monitor the terrorist group. Saddam viewed Al Qaeda as well as other theocratic radical Islamist organizations as a potential threat to his secular regime. At one point, analysts believed, Saddam considered infiltrating the ranks of Al Qaeda with Iraqi nationals or even Iraqi intelligence operatives to learn more about its inner workings, according to records and sources."

According to the CIA, not only was Saddam not working with Al Qaeda, he was trying to figure out ways to keep militant religious fanaticism out of Iraq. The irony is thick when we now see how George Bush and Co. toppled Saddam's secular (albeit unfriendly) regime only to inspire the movement of thousands of Al Qaeda recruits onto Iraqi soil - and for his effort, Iraq is now the terrorist capital of the world.

(For more thoughts on selective intelligence - how the Bush Admin. sliced and diced intelligence leading up to the invasion of Iraq - take a look The Misleaders from Slate.)

Words of Wisdom from Jimmy Carter

I remember when this guy was president. He was basically run out of town by his own party when he tried to buck party traditions - sort of backfired on the dems when Ronald Reagan swept to power in 1980. Carter came to Springfield on that election day, and I went to see him at the airport. Not many people showed up, of course. Everybody knew he was going to lose, including Carter himself.

I've always respected old Jimmy. He was a knowledgeable and thoughtful man - an honest man. He was ridiculed for his beliefs at a time when politicians didn't wear their religion on their sleeve. Now, he is starting to speak out about the mixing of religion and politics and the lack of moral and ethical leadership from the GOP and the Bush administration. Here's a link to his editorial in the L. A. Times entitled: This Isn't the Real America.

State of the Union

A friend at work who happens to be a Republican said an odd thing to me the other day.
"I guess you're feeling pretty good about all the trouble Bush is in right now," he said. I felt a little insulted, since he was attributing what I consider a Republican character trait to me - petty political vindictiveness. It always seemed to me that the GOP was the party that would stop at nothing to destroy political opponents - ala Bill Clinton, whose own "scandals" (Whitewater - in which he was accused of losing several thousand dollars in a screwed up land deal; Travelgate, where Clinton appointed friends to White House travel office positions, gasp!); somehow evolved, through the office of special prosecutor Kenneth Starr via office gossip Linda Tripp, to a case that eventually had the leader of the free world lying about blow jobs in the Oval Office. The result: for only the second time in American history, a president was impeached. Over what? Tell me again how many lives were lost in all these terrible "scandals"?

I remember the frothing indignation that reigned supreme in the halls of Congress during Clinton's second term. The GOP literally put their own political agenda ahead of national security during those years. I blame them for distracting an entire nation over petty political vindictiveness - and all this while Osama bin Laden was building a terror network centered in Afghanistan.

Then, after the Supreme Court awarded the presidency to George Bush (even though he lost the popular vote by more than 500,000 votes), we see an opportunistic group of shadowy right-wing foreign policy wonks take control of an administration and set about to knowingly dupe Congress and the American public, utilizing trumped up fear-mongering and forged intelligence documents, into an unprecedented pre-emptive war against a third world dictatorship that posed no threat whatsoever to this country (but did possess huge oil reserves).

This could only happen under the weak and blissfully arrogant "leadership" of a man like George W. Bush - a man who, according to the chief of staff of his own State Department was "not well versed in international relations and not too much interested in them either".

Even before 9/11, Cheney, Rumsfeld and their little cadre of neoconmen were hard at work planning the Iraqi invasion. They sold the idea to our clueless leader with remarkable ease ("He tried to kill my dad"), and the die was cast. Former Treasury Secretary Paul O'Neill, who was later fired for not towing the party line, was astounded by how, just ten days after the inauguration, discussion of regime change in Iraq monopolized the first cabinet meeting. "For me, the notion of pre-emption, that the U.S. has the unilateral right to do whatever we decide to do, is a really huge leap," O'Neill later told an interviewer.

As the Bush administration ignored urgent warnings from counter-terrorist expert Richard Clarke and Arab leaders like Hosni Mubarak of Egypt, Cheney and Rumsfeld and their neocon buddies remained steadfast in their push to invade Iraq. They were confident, given past marketing successes, that the case for war against Iraq would be easy enough to sell. The war machine that they helped assemble during the Reagan/Bush years would easily and swiftly crush the Iraqi army, no problem there (Shock and Awe/Mission Accomplished, right?) - and the Iraqi people will welcome us with open arms. The problem was, the CIA was not able to produce any definitive evidence of immediate threats posed by Iraq.

What to do . . .

And then came 9/11 - the day that changed everything. A shocked nation looked to their president for leadership, and he filled this role well in the first few months. The invasion of Afghanistan made sense - this was the center of the terrorist universe, and the U.S. was universally supported in this military action. The Taliban was quickly defeated, terrorist bases were destroyed and Osama bin Laden and his lieutenants were on the run - and somebody in the Bush "braintrust" realized the window of opportunity had flown open. Would there ever be a better time to launch the assault on Baghdad? Many Democrats and even a few Republicans in Congress (not to mention Bush's own Secretary of State, Colin Powell) were instinctively against such a potentially disastrous foray into the heart of the Middle East, but only a few had the balls to speak up - many, like John Kerrey, chose to back the war out of political expediency, fearing their objections would be seen as unpatriotic.

Now, years later, we see the truth beginning to filter out, as it always does in time. No, I don't gain any satisfaction whatsoever that Bush is in trouble. I wish he had never gained high political office. He's a weak man who has always been bailed out when things didn't work out for him. This time, however, the stakes are just a bit higher. It just saddens and scares me that the American public can be so malleable, so easily duped, so easily led astray by a bunch of political ideologues linked to a very effective GOP propaganda machine. The end justifies the means with these people. They now openly condone torture, operate secret prisons, arrest and hold suspects without charging them - and think nothing of slaughtering politically anyone gets in their way. This is precisely how police states are manufactured, how tyrants gain power. I now know, without a doubt, that it can happen here. No, I couldn't care less what happens to George Bush. I worry about the world my kids will inherit.

Exxon Profits At Unprecedented High

Still more evidence that it pays to have friends in high places . . . the Associated Press reported today that oil giant Exxon's third-quarter profits were a new record for any company ever. Third quarter profits were almost 75% higher than a year ago - up to $9.92 billion - and their $100 billion in total quarterly sales was also an all-time record for any company in history.

I really don't have much more to say about this . . . it's distressing but not surprising. I guess my conservative friends out there would argue that the free market is working its magic on the American public once again. So, the American public should just smile and get out the KY-Jelly, which is another fine petroleum derivative - while oil execs shop for more multi-million dollar homes and corporate tax shelters.

I'm wondering why such a huge, profitable industry couldn't invest some of their vast profits into some research and development toward creating more efficient ways to fuel our mobile society - or at the very least build a new refinery now and then so that gas prices wouldn't fluctuate wildly everytime a hurricane blows in or a middle eastern potentate gets pissed at us. There hasn't been a new refinery built in the U.S. since the early 1970's.

Seems to me that cutting corporate profits to give the American consumer a little break would almost be a patriotic act at this point. Wonder what's the likelihood of that happening? It's enough to make a person entertain thoughts of socialism - a government takeover of the energy industry. Things have a way of going full circle, you know.

County Commissioners and Nov. 8 Election

I attended a teacher meeting this week in which two of the three County Commissioners and the Springfield police chief spoke about an upcoming November 8 ballot issue called the Community Safety Initiative (CSI). County Commissioners Dave Coonrod and Harold Bengsch and SPD chief Lynn Rowe took turns talking about why they support the proposed 1/4 cent sales tax.

The proposed tax would ante up about a nickel on a $20 purchase and would raise about $10 million in year one for various crime prevention and law enforcement programs.

Did I hear a yawn? I know. This is usually the kind of thing that I have trouble supporting - yes, they want to build a new crime lab and provide funding for more police officers, blah, blah. But the part that caught my attention, and the primary reason they were pitching this to a group of school teachers, was the $3 million that was to be spent on a proactive early childhood program that was linked to 50 elementary schools in Springfield. It would also create a one-stop center for early childhood services such as WIC, Parents As Teachers and medical and behavioral health care.

Unlike the unfunded federal feel-good mandate known as No Child Left Behind, this program supports and funds an early childhood program that is aimed at breaking the cycle of illiteracy and under-education that breeds all kinds of social problems in the community. Yes, it's on a small scale, but it's a move in the right direction - and I don't think we'll be getting much help from the state or federal government anytime soon - not with the current leadership we have in Jeff City and D.C.

I was pleasantly surprised to hear Coonrod and Bengsch speak to this issue with no small amount of conviction. Hit the link above to read more about it.

***Also, thanks to those readers who inquired about the most recent dispatch from the fields of education. It was deleted because I was worried that the teacher featured in that story would suffer some kind of retribution from a vengeful administrator or demented parent. Given the fact that she still works with those people on a daily basis, I felt it was wise to avoid any risk of making things worse. I did save the story and will re-post it after things cool down a bit.

Still More Evidence of Cronyism in Bushland

I was trying to find a link to one of my favorite news shows when I ran across this article posted on Media Matters for America. The New York Times article explores how Harriet Miers worked a dual role after being appointed by Bush to head the Texas Lottery Commission, which was supposedly suspected of shady dealings. It looks as though some of the questionable activity centered around an employee who had information about Bush's own shady National Guard experience. Here's a clip:

"Allegations about political favors playing a role in Bush's National Guard career first arose in the midst of a lawsuit filed by Lawrence Littwin, the former executive director of the lottery commission who was both hired and fired during Miers's tenure. Littwin had reportedly been investigating what he considered improper political contributions made by Gtech, a company which had a contract to run the Texas lottery. In his lawsuit, Littwin claimed that Gtech pressured the commission to fire him by threatening to reveal that the company had paid lobbyist Ben Barnes $23 million to keep Barnes from publicly claiming that he pulled strings in order to get Bush into the Guard.

In her capacity at the commission, Miers was directly involved with Littwin's dismissal in October 1997. Littwin's lawsuit claimed that after he began looking into financial ties between the company and Texas lawmakers, Gtech pushed Miers to fire him [Houston Chronicle, January 6, 2001]. After a federal judge in Texas ruled that Miers did not have to testify in Littwin's lawsuit to provide an explanation for why Littwin was fired, Gtech settled Littwin's lawsuit for $300,000.

Subsequently -- and while still serving on the commission -- Miers was paid $19,000 by Bush's re-election campaign to investigate his National Guard record in order to "identify potential vulnerabilities early on and deflect any charges that Bush got favorable treatment," according to a July 17, 2000, Newsweek article. Newsweek reported that Barnes's allegations were a key part of Miers's investigation. That would mean that the Miers investigation -- and therefore Bush himself -- potentially benefited from Miers's knowledge of and involvement in the lottery commission."

Everybody knows Bush had preferential treatment with his National Guard stint. First, to get in at all - and later to cover the fact that he was AWOL while out campaigning for his dad. Harriet Miers appears to be a Bush loyalist first and foremost. No wonder he trusts her so much.

Conservative pundits like Bill Kristol, editor of the conservative rag The Weekly Standard characterized Miers' nomination to the high court 'at best an error, at worst a disaster' which should be reconsidered. 'He (Bush) has put up an unknown and undistinguished figure for an opening that conservatives worked for a generation to see filled with a jurist of high distinction.'

George Will, with whom I hardly ever agree (except for our shared love of baseball and the Cubs) called for the Miers nomination to be turned down by the Senate. Here's a clip from his Op-Ed piece in the Washington Post:

It is important that Miers not be confirmed unless, in her 61st year, she suddenly and unexpectedly is found to have hitherto undisclosed interests and talents pertinent to the court's role. Otherwise the sound principle of substantial deference to a president's choice of judicial nominees will dissolve into a rationalization for senatorial abdication of the duty to hold presidents to some standards of seriousness that will prevent them from reducing the Supreme Court to a private plaything useful for fulfilling whims on behalf of friends.

Thank you, George, for your eloquence. But will GW listen? I doubt it - so we'll be subjected to an awful dissection of this poor woman at the hands of the Senate Judiciary Committee. Of course, the evangelicals will say she will have been persecuted for her beliefs. But, to be sure, this nomination should go down in flames due solely to the fact that she is nothing more than a political crony who is clearly not qualified to replace Sandra Day O'Connor on the Supreme Court.

Our Girl Harriet

President Bush managed to piss everybody off with this one. The Harriet Miers Supreme Court nomination has been roundly panned by pundits from virtually the entire political spectrum. I can almost see GW smirking after he and his trusty advisors came up with this one. This ought to throw everybody for a loop, yuk, yuk. One thing I've got to hand GW, he has shown an uncanny ability to top his daddy when it comes to boneheaded presidential moves. The elder Bush at least had the good sense to avoid a protracted war in Iraq after Desert Storm, while Boy George boldly ventures forth on a misguided crusade to build a democratic state in the heart of the Middle East. Is that conservative? Seems like I remember W criticizing the Clinton/Gore administration for their "nation building" in Bosnia. You don't hear much about Bosnia these days. I guess it depends on your point of view about this nation building concept - if a Democrat is doing it, it's nation building, if a Republican does it, it's fighting tyranny and spreading democracy. Of course, it also helps if the proposed construction site has a fair amount of oil under the surface and your administration is tight with big oil.

Daddy Bush appointed legal lightweight Clarence Thomas to the bench in what many regarded as a cold, cynical move that would force Democrats to oppose a black nominee. I wonder, has Thomas ever voted independently of ideologue Scalia? Ever written an intelligent opinion? He did serve a huge role in casting one of the votes that put Bush's son in the White House. So, the appointment did pay a quick dividend politically. Do you recall how Thomas characterized his contentious nomination process as a high-tech lynching? After viewing his service on the court so far, I guess it could be fair to similarly characterize his ideological obedience as good old-fashioned Uncle Tomism.

In George Bush we have the same man who asked us to trust him as he spread fear and loathing about Weapons of Mass Destruction in Iraq as a rationale for an unprovoked invasion. Turns out the intelligence was bad - wasn't his fault (never is). This is also the man who appointed a totally unqualified Michael "yer doin' a heckuva job" Brown to lead FEMA. (Brown had been commissioner of the Arabian Horse Association, which at least symbolically represents the abundance of horseshit GW has cast upon the American public.) And now . . . he gives us his girl Harriet, former White House secretary and personal legal council. She has virtually no record, no court experience, didn't appear on anybody's list of the top 100 (1,000?) candidates - but not to worry. Our fearless leader knows her heart. Trust him on this one. She'll never change, he assures us. Shew, what a relief. One thing we do know - she is a born again Christian, which, in political terms, is nothing more than a blatant signal to the GOP's conservative base that Miers would vote to overturn Roe v. Wade when the opportunity presents itsself. She will, of course, refuse to talk about that during the hearings.

In the five years that have passed since the Supreme Court awarded Bush the presidency, could anybody, even his harshest political enemies, have calculated how poorly he would have performed? I wonder how many years it will take to undo the damage this administration has done to the country and our standing in the world. But back to our girl Harriet. I doubt seriously that Bush will withdraw this ridiculous nomination. I just hope the Senate has the guts to vote it down. It'll be interesting to see who stands tall and who bends over.

Bad Boys, School Superintendents & Wal-Mart

Last night, I ran into two of my former students outside the movie store. Brandon and Ricky were always in trouble for one thing or another during their three years in middle school. Both of them flunked almost every class but were passed on year after year, as is the habit in most middle schools. Ricky had a violent streak and was finally placed in an alternative school for much of his 7th grade year. It was mostly 7th grade macho stuff that got him in trouble. Like so many other lost boys and girls we see in middle school halls every year, he had virtually zero parental supervision. Brandon's mom tried to become more involved, but her son was soft and lazy, a follower who seemed hell bent on being cool above all else. Brandon had a good sense of humor and was one of the few in my class who understood my jokes, but he hadn't learned much academically since the third or fourth grade.

They saw me first as I pulled into the parking lot. "Hey, Mr. Smith." It's always nice to see former students smiling when we meet. So often, my memories of scolding them and sending them to the office for some transgression are all I remember. Ironically, some of the worst discipline problems are the friendliest when we meet outside the confines of school. They seem to know that I really did like them - even the bad ones (sometimes especially the bad ones). The two bad boys sauntered up to the passenger side of the car as I pulled in, and we talked through the window. Ricky had his ball cap on crooked and wore an open baseball jersey, the uniform of adolescent rebellion.

"So how's high school going?" I asked.
"We're not in school," Brandon said, smiling.
"We're doing home school now," Ricky said with a straight face. Home schooling? I had to laugh.
"Are you kidding me?" Both of them smiled just a bit, not wanting to completely admit that they weren't doing anything remotely related to school work.
"So, who's teaching you?" I asked.
"My mom," says Brandon.
They knew I didn't buy it, but I didn't say anything more. We said our good-byes, and they drove away in Brandon's beat up Taurus with the bass vibrating a loose muffler. Poor lost boys.

I remembered one parent/teacher conference. Brandon's mom had broken down in tears, pleading for advice on how to persuade her academically-challenged son that doing well in school was important. "He's a good boy," she said over and over.

And now this poor woman was home schooling them? I wonder how she's holding up. Their situation seems hopeless now. I hate it that they have chosen to separate themselves from the one place where they might learn something outside their usual realm - where they could associate with adults who cared about them and had some insight into the real world. The sad thing is, Ricky and Brandon were both reasonably bright, funny kids - especially Ricky. There were times when I knew that I "had them" during particular lessons. There was definitely some hope there - they just weren't in class often enough for anything to stick. When he came to school for a stretch, Ricky actually contributed to class and truly enjoyed doing a little math now and then. He even passed a couple of tests. I can remember how he eagerly shot his hand up when he had the answer to a math problem. Now it seems their education is a lost cause, but I'll keep you posted if there are any future Brandon and Ricky sightings in the 'hood.

--------------

Speaking of education, I met the new superintendent of schools the other day at an NEA meeting. He's an affable fellow, much more articulate than the last suit that flew into town to lead R-12 . . . and much funnier. All the principals like him, but I still haven't heard him say much other than "we must foster a culture of improvement", which seems pretty uninspired to me. Let's all agree to try to do better, okay?

This was his first meeting with Springfield NEA, and a couple of polite teachers lobbed softball questions. He was obliged to mention how awesome (a favorite adjective) the system was and how capable the staff was . . . but then somebody asked him what he thought about class size. Having just struggled through a year when my classes were jammed with 35-36 students every hour, I was interested in how he'd handle this one. It seems amazing to me that a big system like R-12 refuses to hire enough teachers to have optimum class sizes.

Dr. Ridder smiled and apologetically explained that he always gets a little "political" when talking about class size . . . He rubbed his hands together and said, "I've seen teachers do a terrific job with classes of forty and a poor job with classes of fifteen." And then he smiled and nodded as if to acknowledge that what he had just uttered was total bullshit. Exactly the kind of bobbing and weaving we've come to expect from administrative types. I was disappointed but not surprised. He has a nice personality at least. He's coming back in a few months, and I have already promised myself to ask him about the tax rollback. Should inspire a good soft-shoe.

One last thing while on the topic of home schooling and public education. Did you know that the world's largest and richest corporation, besides busting unions and offering low-wage, low-benefit jobs to the working poor, has been funneling all kinds of money to political action committees that are opposed to public education? Here are a few facts from an NEA article:

The Walton family dedicates the bulk of its philanthropy to pushing vouchers, tuition tax credits and charter schools, giving at least $250 million to such efforts over the past six years. (USA Today, 3/11/04)
Since 1998, the Walton Family Foundation has given more than $100 million to private organizations that finance vouchers to private schools, undermine support for public education, and are intended to increase political pressure for publicly funded vouchers. (Mediatransparency.org)
The late John Walton was the biggest paycheck in the anti-public education movement, providing tens of millions of dollars of his own money to support anti-public education ballot initiatives and organizations and sitting on the boards of the major pro-voucher organizations.

What can you do? My little family is boycotting Wal-Mart in favor of companies like Target and Staples, who generously support public schools across the country. In spite of all the problems in schools today, I sincerely believe that public education is the glue that holds our society together, as tenuous as that hold may be. For every Ricky and Brandon that drop out, there are also kids that are rescued from terrible situations and benefit greatly from their time in public schools.

Where's the Love?

The following is in response to Kevin Elmer's commentary in the News-Leader.

Kevin Elmer's one-sided and utterly simplistic commentary in Sunday's paper left me wondering when so-called "conservative Christians" will ever cut the rhetoric, take off the blinders and view the world around them.

Elmer builds a flimsy argument that Islamic radicals love death over life, while we in the U.S. prefer the inverse - and then neatly concludes that this Islamic fatalism is the big difference between them and us. They love death; we love life.

I would argue that many Americans, even devout Christians like Rev. Pat Robbertson, are quite selective about their love of life. It depends on whose life it is - or the stage of development. From conception to birth, we're all about the sanctity of life - but for babies being born into abject poverty, like many of those left behind in New Orleans, well, they're on their own. We build bigger and better prisons to house those kinds of people. They aren't really part of the economy. They are expendable. Nixon advisor Henry Kissinger called them "eaters".

Mr. Elmer also states that 9/11 was the event that "ensured that (Al Qaida) would grow beyond a small group into an inspired movement." He might recall that the entire civilized world condemned the 9/11 attacks and rallied to support the U.S. No, it was the misguided U.S. invasion of Iraq that most certainly boosted the rolls of Islamic fanaticism - virtually every Mideast leader cautioned the Bush Administration on this.

I do agree that the victims of the 9/11 attacks "were not soldiers armed to protect . . . they were innocent." But are the 25,000 Iraqi civilians who have died since the U.S. invasion of their country any less innocent? When asked about civilian casualties, an American general said, "We don't do body counts." Where's the love?

It's always great to hear somebody cheerleading about how the U.S. is the greatest nation in the world. USA! USA ! But right now, after the veneer has been stripped away in New Orleans and with the continuing death and destruction in Iraq, I don't think we're gaining many converts worldwide.

Used Syringes

Today was a first. I've lived in this neighborhood for 14 years, and although there are a few shady characters renting houses a few blocks east of here, it's always been a quiet neighborhood of dog-walkers and kids on bikes. Sure we have our share of teenagers in their baggy pants and slightly askew ball caps trying to look tough, but they're just kids. Right?

I was cleaning up some stuff in the yard today, picking up what people typically throw out of their cars - a couple of fast food cups, a plastic grocery bag. But the grocery bag had something in it. I opened it up and looked down on somebody's discarded meth kit . . . three syringes, one still had a few cc's left in it, and a couple of spoons.

After thinking about all the little kids that live next door and across the street, I decided to call the police. I didn't really think they could do much, but I figured it might confirm what they already suspected about a certain house - maybe a red flag that might get them patrolling the neighborhood more often. I guess that's a good thing. The nice lady on the phone told me SPD didn't send officers to pick up syringes anymore - too many calls, I suppose.

She told me to very carefully place the syringes and spoons in a milk carton or some closed container and throw it in the trash. (This caused me to think of Mayor Carlson's son, whose arrest we talked about a few months ago. One method of investigation the police used in that case was sifting through the suspect's trash. In fact, they did find seeds and stems that served as a basis for his arrest. Now, the nice police lady is telling me to go ahead and throw the syringes in my trash. I guess the police can tell you to throw drug paraphernalia away, and it's all okay. I think there might be a dusty old bong in the attic - might as well toss it in for good measure.)

But seriously, the discovery of this stuff laying in my yard was a little unsettling. I haven't told the neighbors yet. Children ages 11, 6, 5 and 2 live in homes surrounding the dumping spot. Imagine one of them pulling dirty syringes out of bag - gives me chills.

The Drowning of New Orleans

The following snip is from Scientific American, October 2001:

New Orleans is a disaster waiting to happen. The city lies below sea level, in a bowl bordered by levees that fend off Lake Pontchartrain to the north and the Mississippi River to the south and west. And because of a damning confluence of factors, the city is sinking further, putting it at increasing flood risk after even minor storms. The low-lying Mississippi Delta, which buffers the city from the gulf, is also rapidly disappearing. A year from now another 25 to 30 square miles of delta marsh--an area the size of Manhattan--will have vanished. An acre disappears every 24 minutes. Each loss gives a storm surge a clearer path to wash over the delta and pour into the bowl, trapping one million people inside and another million in surrounding communities. Extensive evacuation would be impossible because the surging water would cut off the few escape routes. Scientists at Louisiana State University (L.S.U.), who have modeled hundreds of possible storm tracks on advanced computers, predict that more than 100,000 people could die. (end of snip)

While many thousands were evacuated, it makes you wonder . . . scientists have warned of this calamity for years, and yet the Army Corps of Engineers and federal officials did nothing to prepare for or avert a disaster of monumental proportions. Monster hurricane Andrew missed the Big Easy by a mere 100 miles in 1992, and in 1998 hurricane Georges was making a beeline for the city before veering just a few miles east at the last moment. Katrina veered a little at the end, as well, but the water surge following the storm broke two levees, and now we see the dreadful images that back up what scientists predicted years ago. (Now, about global warming . . . )

The human suffering going on down there is just unimaginable from our comfortable vantage point here in the Ozarks. These are the kinds of things that only happen in third world countries, right? The truth is, we've always had a hidden third world subsisting within our borders, and events like this only make that truth more evident. Have you seen the faces of the people trapped in the Superdome?

You can expect the rolls of the poor to continue to grow as the struggle to maintain a middle class becomes more and more difficult. The Louisiana coast supplies 1/5 of the nation's oil and 1/4 of its natural gas. We've already seen gas spike to $3 a gallon. Everybody feels this calamity, even here in Springfield.

And we were worried about terrorists.

Blogging from Iraq

So much of the news about the war in Iraq is filtered through corporate-owned media that have their own political connections to protect, it's hard to know if you're getting a "fair and balanced" account of what's really going on in this hellish endeavor. In today's America, that's just the way it is, as Walter Cronkite would say.

Michael Yon: Online Magazine is definitely worth a read if you'd like to get a truly unbiased glimpse of what daily life is like for the soldiers risking their lives doing the dirty work in Iraq - helping the Iraqis gain freedom from tyranny, or whatever the Bush administration rationale is this week.

Jesus Addressing a Republican Fund Raiser

Now that the Republicans have co-opted Christianity in this country, they have re-created Jesus in their own image. Here's a funny excerpt from an article in Slate Magazine entitled "The Parable of Jesus and the Rubber Chicken". This is our Lord and Savior addressing a Repubican fundraiser:

"In My youth, I made certain ill-advised statements that I now regret. If I offended anyone, I apologize. I want to clarify that it is easy for a rich man to enter the kingdom of Heaven. (CHEERS, WILD APPLAUSE)
"I'd like to apologize specifically to the money-changers. It is My sincere hope that you will come back into the Temple free of charge as My guests." (WILD APPLAUSE, CHANT OF "U.S.A! U.S.A!")
Finally—and this is Me speaking for Myself now—I want to say to the meek: Once we finally get rid of the death tax, you're not inheriting anything. Not while you're meek, so buck up. (CHEERS) And that goes double for you peacemakers. (LAUGHTER) Good night and Dad bless America. (CHEERS, WILD APPLAUSE)

The whole article can be found at: http://www.slate.com/id/2124768/

Springfield School Board Rolls Back, Rolls Over

I'm not even going to justify this little speil with a link to the Gnews-Leader or quotations from proud school board members. After finally selling a tax levy increase to the voters of Springfield - with a great deal of help from teachers seeking smaller class sizes, I might add - the Springfield School Board has elected to rollback the levy in order to save voters $27 a year on property taxes.

It's a gesture of good will, I guess, aimed at placating those in the community who don't support public education. Seems like an odd stance for a school board, if you ask me. But it also is a complete rollover onto an already burdened teaching staff, and stiffs the kids as well. The board's action further creates the impression that the initial levy campaign, with its threats of program curtailments, was over-stating the problems in our schools. The critics and naysayers were right, they tacitly acknowledge. What an ingratiating and inauspicious start for the new superintendent.

There is a big myth floating around Springfield. The myth is that the citizenry here care about improving education and investing in a good future for the children. The school board's caving on the levy in order to create better PR with the community is disingenuous at best and deceitful at worst.

Who will end up enduring even longer delays on basic improvements to the system? The students and teachers - the people in the classrooms trying to get it done. Are there any teachers out there celebrating this decision? Find one. I remember the leadership meeting I attended last summer. The day the tax levy passed there was a room full of 500 celebrants, cheering, even dancing. But that was an abberation. Nothing has changed.

Last year, this math teacher had 138 middle school math students divided into four classes. You do the math, and it adds up to 34.5 students per class - and this is in a core subject that students are tested over and over and over. The school is ultimately rated over these test scores and then publicly labeled as successful or failing.

If the school board had any inkling or inclination to significantly help the system perform better, they would put as much money as they possibly could into hiring more good teachers and shrinking class sizes. It's interesting that the R-12 school board feels compelled to raise the superintendant's salary "to be competitive" but gets all squeamish when it comes to using that same rationale when hiring teachers. Makes you wonder about priorities.

Am I the only one who thinks this school board is just slightly out of touch with reality? And I'd still like to hear the reasoning behind moving all the R-12 administrative employees to a separate pay scale from other professional staff (teachers). It almost seems like a "class" thing. Surely not. No wonder so many third-year PE teachers opt for getting that administrative certificate, thus utilizing their wealth of teaching experience as building principals. Next step . . . superintendent at Sparta or Ava or Bumfuck . . . who cares? It's great money!

By the way, did you know that the new superintendent's salary schedule was given a sweet $45,000 boost this year? Now it's up to $190,000 for yet another migrant administrator to fly in and utter the same tired platitudes about "ownership", "leadership" and "community". Hell, he just moved here, and he's leading cheers about the community already. Have you ever wondered why they don't promote from within Springfield? If this is such a great community, why is it we can't find any leadership from within? Is it some kind of civic inferiority complex, or what?

But let's get back to the pay scale. The R-12 superintendent's pay raise alone - let me say that again - the superintendent's raise alone, makes up more than 150% of a starting teacher's full salary in Springfield. Just his raise. You want to talk about rollbacks?

Bongs for Burgers! (from the springfieldian #6)

Click to enlarge.

More Precious Mutants

"He Ain't Heavy, He's My Parasitic Brother"

Precious Mutants (from The Springfieldian #5)

My Little Antichrist

From the Book of Revelations, it's "My Little Antichrist," archnemesis of all humankind. Exclusive Mark of the Beast-style eyes say "666", but his arms say, "Hold me!" With flames of retribution pedestal. Hurry, available only until the Apocalypse for just $39.99.

In 1977, artist Sam Butcher received a divine inspiration: Create a line of collectible figurines aimed at the lucrative Christian market; have them manufactured by unwitting non-Christians in Asia; slap on enormous price tags; build a (Sistine-inspired) chapel/retail outlet in the Ozarks to promote the figurines; and become very, very rich.

Inspiration paid off. Today, the world-famous Precious Moments line of products generates half a billion dollars in sales yearly. Key to the popularity of the winsome moppets are their unusual stylized features. Each character is blessed an impossibly oversized cranium - and never has encephalitis been so appealing. The trademark teardrop eyes are equally malformed - yet magnetic, pulling at your heart - and purse strings. It's all held up by freakish swollen ankles. Elephantiasis.

Adorable, yes, but not enough for the notoriously voracious Precious Moments devotees. Snapping up the collections as fast as they could be made, insatiable fans demanded more - bigger heads; more pathetic eyes.

And so, we proudly announce the arrival of Precious Mutants: an exciting new series of figurines incorporating these fan-inspired changes . . . and more! We're sure you'll find them the most irresistible additions to your collection yet. With Precious Mutants, genetic innovations are taken to new heights - and now, with the announcement that a toxic waste facility has moved in next door to the Precious Moments Chapel, the possibilities for further mutations appear to be unlimited.

Downtown Saturday Night

Downtown Saturday night in Springfield, Missouri is not what it used to be. Music from a dozen different venues fills the air. There are misplaced teens everywhere, riding skateboards, beating on worn out guitars. A local prophet of god stands at a street corner, tonight with his son along, warning people about the wages of sin and sex.

The crowd at Ernie Biggs is singing very loudly and another smaller crowd hovers at the door, trying to figure if there's actually enough room to enter the place. They were singing Neil Diamond songs. It was awful. A woman with huge propped up breasts and cleavage about the size of my ass, raised her arms and danced up by the stage. The crowd was way more interesting than the music, believe me.

On the corner of Walnut and South, we ran into what has become a downtown fixture - our own placard prophet. There were two tonight, father and son. When we passed the first time, they stood alone. Most passers by politely ignore them, but when I came back with my camera, there was a crowd of revelers milling around the placards - asking questions, pointing fingers. The prophets usually have four double-sided placards to aim at passing cars and pedestrians. There was one message that really had a group of young halter-topped girls in a tizzy - something about lustful dressing.

The elder prophet calmly tried to explain - the younger one was obviously intimidated by these loud females, who were, by the way, lustfully attired by anyone's standard.

I told my friend, "They're probably rubbing themselves through their pockets right now." It was an awful thing to say. I apologize. Anyway, things got very volatile a little later, as I tried to maneuver to get a good shot of the younger prophet's sign.

"I'm going to take your picture. I hope you don't mind," I said.

"I'd rather you wouldn't," he said, turning away so I couldn't get the shot.

"Well, you're out here on a public street corner, are you too shy to get your picture taken?" I asked. He turned sideways, so the sign was not visible to me. I walked around him. He turned. It was like a weird magnetic effect I had on this guy. We danced like that for a couple of rotations before I gave up and we crossed the street.

One sign, held by the elder man, warned that marrying after divorce was adultery, which I took to mean that you might as well live in sin and save the paper work. Another sign, held by the younger, caused a little ruckus. It read: "True Christians Do Not Go To War". (He's holding this sign in the picture above.) As we reached the other side of Walnut Street, a couple of young men, maybe a little drunk, accosted the two sign holders.

"What do you mean true Christians don't go to war," one of the men shouted, obviously a good Christian patriot. "My brother is over there fighting for your freedom, you fucking coward." He stopped and menacingly pointed a finger, while his friend tried to lure him away. "You don't know a goddamn thing about war, you fucking pussy."

And just like that, the elder prophet interrupted his proselytizing, and screamed back at the man. "YOU DO NOT TAKE THE LORD'S NAME IN VAIN!" (He didn't react at all as his son was being publicly berated as a coward and, worse, a pussy. Does this imply tacit agreement?)

At exactly this time, the police came roaring in. Two cars, and officers quickly calmed the drunk Christian patriot guy, as he earnestly tried to explain and justify his outburst. "My brother's over there," he said.

Things calmed down from that point, but it seemed like the younger prophet apprentice was a bit shaken. He might put the war sign away for a while and stick to safer topics - sex, lust, divorce and adultery. The standards.

Novak a Little Testy (or little testes?)

Conservative columnist Robert Novak must be feeling the heat of the CIA leak investigation. The normally cool and urbane man-about-Washington stormed off the set of CNN's "Inside Politics" on Friday after what seemed like a mild ribbing from Democratic consultant James Carville.

Novak sat next to Carville while host Ed Henry was asking them about the Florida senate primary coming up. Former Florida Secretary of State, Katherine Harris, is one of the Republican candidates, and Carville was saying how this would be a great boon to late night comedy shows like Jay Leno. Harris, among other things, has recently asserted that the media purposely doctored photos to alter her makeup, which set Carville off. Novak, predictably, spoke in support of Harris's makeup claim and was commenting on her chances of winning the primary when Carville interrupted.

"I'll tell you this, you know, you've got to show these right-wingers that you've got backbone. The Wall Street Journal editorial page is watching. Show them you're tough." To which, Novak turned to Carville and said,
"I think that's bullshit, and I hate that." He then stood up, unhooked his mic and walked off the set while Henry and Carville continued talking without a hitch. (video clip)

Novak had already been informed by host Ed Henry that he would be asked about the CIA leak investigation, but the topic never came up. Did Novak purposely walk off to escape further questioning on the matter? We'll never know, but his little tantrum got him suspended by CNN. "Bob Novak's behavior today was inexcusable and unacceptable," a spokesperson for CNN said on Friday. "We've asked Mr. Novak to take some time off."

As far as air time goes, Novak may have finally shot himself in the foot. He was formerly a regular on Crossfire and The Capital Gang, but both shows have been cancelled. His next big media appearance, however, may be on all the networks, as the CIA leak investigation comes to an end. Novak, who started the whole thing, has been less than forthcoming on the subject to fellow reporters. But it now seems very possible that some indictments will be coming down - and the smug little bastard probably knows he'll be in the vortex when the shit finally hits the fan.

Here's a little background and commentary from a previous Ozarks Angel.

Psychogenically Fugued Up

Here's part of Carpenter's long-distance phone conversation with Detective Hamilton on Christmas Eve :

TC: How did you get this number?
SPD: Tim, we need to talk to you.
TC: How did you find me?
SPD: We spoke with Melisa.

At this point, Hamilton noted a crack in Carpenter's voice (farewell sweet Melisa), and he paused for several seconds.

TC: Oh.
SPD: Tim, where have you been?
SPD: Tim, are you okay?
TC: I, uh . . . I, uh, don't remember.
SPD: You don't remember?
TC: No.

One needn't ask Tim Carpenter for his definition of hell. It began when he finally opened his apartment door to allow wife Carol and pastor Lindell into his secret refuge. According to Lindell, he "cowered like a wounded dog" and refused to recognize anyone. And then there was that long, dark drive back home to Springfield from Memphis during the wee hours of Christmas morning. Could that have been anything but hell on earth?

When Carpenter found out he was being taken to Cox North, he became very upset. He became downright angry when he found out Pastor Lindell had already completed the necessary forms to have him admitted for mental evaluation, but at this point, he really didn't have much say in the matter. "We don't think Tim is in a situation where he is capable of making rational decisions," Lindell said.

Police were eager to interview Carpenter, but they had not been notified of his arrival. Nurses at Cox North were even told not to tell SPD that Carpenter had been admitted. A clever detective found out his location only by leaning over the nurses' station desk and viewing the computer monitor while the nurse was away asking superiors what to do.

On Christmas Day, Lindell issued a news release to the public that stayed with the line about the head injury and lost memory. Here's an excerpt:

"Thankfully, Tim has been found in Memphis, Tennessee. Unfortunately, Tim is not well. He has suffered a head injury apparently from one or more blows to the head. He has lost his memory, and he is disoriented. He does not know his wife, his children or his friends, including me . . .
There are so many unanswered questions concerning Tim's current condition, the circumstances surrounding his disappearance, and what has occurred since he's been gone. Tim is totally disoriented."

Lindell suggested that Carpenter may have to go out of state for treatment and then added:

"Those of us who have gone to Memphis to bring Tim home would be willing to hold a news conference to share the information that we have gathered, our personal observations, and to field questions . . . Requests for further information or a news conference should be faxed to . . . "

Springfield Police were notified by Carpenter's attorney, Larry Bratvold, that same morning. Bratvold asked that no interviews with Carpenter should occur except in his presence. But when police asked on several occasions for an interview, Bratvold repeatedly contended that Carpenter's doctors advised against any "police interrogation".

Exactly who Tim's doctors were was a mystery. There was some mention of a psychiatrist from Bolivar, but no doctor contributed anything publicly regarding Carpenter's mental condition. Lindell later notified the media that Carpenter had been diagnosed with Psychogenic Fugue, a dissociative disorder in which a person forgets who they are and leaves home to create a new life. During the fugue, there is no memory of the former life. After recovery, there is no memory for events during the dissociative state.

This almost sounds like the perfect description of Carpenter's behavior except for the fact that the "fugue" state didn't seem to begin until he realized, while talking on the phone to a Springfield detective, that his little relocation caper had come to an abrupt end. Our best guess is that he continued the ruse of failed memory to avoid talking during his second "abduction" back to Springfield.

Police never did get to question Tim Carpenter, and the story died a merciful death in the media. By the first week of January, he had been checked out of the hospital and, once again, his whereabouts were unknown. It's interesting that during questioning by police after Carpenter's hospital release, Rev. Lindell admitted that his tormented associate pastor had repeatedly asked to be allowed to contact Springfield police and submit to an interview and tell police the real story. One could assume that Lindell, who had invested a good amount of air time rallying media and prayer groups, didn't want the truth told so quickly. Carpenter also told Lindell that he had planned to contact his wife and explain the situation but had decided to wait a few days.

So where are they now? The last we heard, Tim Carpenter was living in Tulsa and working for a home security company. He laid out a $10,000 check to local authorities for his official transgression, filing a false police report. The Carpenters never worked it out and were divorced a couple of years after the incident. Oklahoma authorities tried to serve the divorce papers to Carpenter at home, but there was no such address in Tulsa. They finally located him at work.

Pastor Lindell is still working God's agenda down highway 65 at James River Assembly. Our attempt for an interview a few years ago ended abruptly, though it did reveal Lindell's off-the-record grasp of what truly happened. "What he did was reprehensible," Lindell said over the phone. And then he uttered the ultimate Christian blow-off, "We're praying for him." Click.

The Self-Abduction of Tim Carpenter

It was right before Christmas back in 1998. If I remember correctly, the word character was being tossed around a lot by folks here in God's country. President Clinton was being skewered by a GOP-led special prosecutor about cum stains on a woman's dress, and Osama Bin Laden was establishing a nice foothold in Afghanistan. Locally, the George Revelle murder trial was going on, and police were working to find out who shot a local man five times and dumped his body in the downtown quarry.

That was the backdrop for a strange case of abduction on Springfield's south side. Tim Carpenter, associate pastor at James River Assembly, loving husband and father of two teenage girls, had come up missing. The founder of Christian Publishers Outlet and owner of Heir Press had failed to return home after a late night visit his Heir Press offices on south Campbell.

Police were sent to Heir Press the next morning only to find mysterious blood smatterings, a tan left shoe that belonged to Carpenter on the sidewalk and stacked up office equipment. Nothing was stolen. Carpenter's Geo Tracker was nowhere to be seen, and there were no witnesses.

Despite a groundswell of prayer groups, billboards, posters, aerial searches and news releases emanating from James River Assembly, police detectives stubbornly insisted that there was no evidence pointing to an abduction. This did not dissuade James River Assembly pastor, Rev. John Lindell, from quickly establishing himself as the point man for local media for the Carpenter story. From his Sunday pulpit, Lindell asked for a "miracle from God" while Carol Carpenter pointed out that Tim "would be really embarrassed. He doesn't like attention," adding that "whatever happens, Tim is glorifying God." In a sense, she was right.

What nobody knew at the time was that ole' TC was glorifying God with a cute little nurse living on the outskirts of Memphis, Tennessee. Carpenter didn't meet Melisa at church or at a Christian publishing convention. They first met during the previous summer at a local cowboy bar called "Diamonds & Denim", when Tim approached her at the bar. She told police he had been very polite at first, explaining that he was newly divorced and trying to start his life anew. Later in their visit, Tim apparently started making Melisa feel a little uncomfortable and finally suggested something inappropriate. Shocked, Melisa grabbed her stuff and stormed out of the bar with Carpenter in tow, apologizing profusely. Undaunted, Carpenter kept after her with calls and visits, and a few weeks later was sending flowers, love notes and lingerie from Victoria's Secret.

Meanwhile, the Carpenter investigation seemed stalled. Local police had virtually nothing to say to local media, but they were making progress behind the scenes. It wasn't until police turned up a bill in Carpenter's mail, a pager service, that they discovered a frequent caller from the Memphis area. Detectives contacted Melisa soon after and told her the bad news. She was, of course, devasted but was more than happy to give police Tim's new cell number. The Christmas Eve long distance call from Detective Hamilton was one of the first Carpenter would receive on his new cell phone. He was at his apartment.

"How did you find me?" were the first words a shaken Carpenter uttered to police. Hamilton told TC that he'd caused a lot of worry back home and that his wife and family were anxious to see him. Tim seemed stunned. At this point, Hamilton inexplicably asked him if he had hit his head, and Carpenter said yes. The call ended, and Hamilton had the Memphis police send a detective to the apartment, but Carpenter refused to answer the door. He was busy. First, he had to hide all his ID (but for some reason, was unable to part with his Social Security card). He then proceeded to, justifiably enough, beat the hell out of himself. Something along the lines of Jim Carrey in Liar, Liar - only Carrey played a man who was cursed with the inability to lie.

Police contacted Carol Carpenter to tell her the news, and within a few hours Mrs. Carpenter, pastor Lindell and a couple of the family's James River friends flew in a private plane straightway to Memphis where the Lord, with a little help from the UPS man, helped Lindell and company find Carpenter's apartment. After hours of negotiating, they coaxed him into his own car, drove him back to Springfield late Christmas Eve and, on the quiet, admitted Carpenter into Cox North Hospital downtown.

This is where the story gets really interesting, particularly the role pastor Lindell played as self-appointed press secretary/spin doctor for the Carpenter family during their time of need.

More on this later . . .

The Return of The Springfieldian

Back in 1992, a little underground newspaper called The Springfieldian started circulating around town. It had a small but loyal following that included some elected officials, city employees, media folks and interested ne'r-do-wells about town.

The Springfieldian was published somewhat irregularly for a few years before stopping with the infamous "Hammons Attacks" issue #9. A tenth issue was almost finished but never came to fruition.

Ozarks Angel has managed to come up with the entire collection of old Springfieldians and will publish some of our favorite pieces in upcoming weeks. The cartoons were some of the best ever published in this town. These cartoons are from issue #4.

Just Pretend It's All Okay

Just pretend the world is safer since this grand incursion. Just pretend this will all end soon. Just pretend 23,000 Iraqi civilians aren't dead. Just pretend this war hasn't aided the cause of Islamic fanaticism worldwide. Go buy a fucking ribbon. Maybe that'll help.

The Frakes, Architecture of the Arkansas Ozarks & Gin

It's Saturday morning - 10:49 - and I'm already feeling ready for a big gin and tonic, extra lime, please. It's going to be another hot one today. Yesterday was 102 they say. Dog days. Days that are so hot, a person could come down with a bad case of the frakes.

It was in Donald Harington's wonderful novel "Architecture of the Arkansas Ozarks" where I first heard about the frakes. It's been years since I read the book, but I do recall that frakes almost always strike during the hottest days of summer. And they can strike a grown man down where he sits, rendering him nearly motionless for hours at a time. Some kind of nervous system shut down, I'm guessing. I've found gin and tonics helpful.

Back to the book. Architecture covers the growth of human habitation of the Ozarks region from the very first Indian dwellings to, well, rusted out mobile homes. The setting is near the town of Stay More, Arkansas.

Here's a snippet from the book. In this exchange, Fanshaw, a native Indian whose people have lived in the area for generations, meets up with settler Jacob Ingledew (an occasional victim of the frakes). I can't recall how Fanshaw came to speak perfect English, but it adds to the colorful dialogue.

From Architecture of the Arkansas Ozarks, The Toby Press

"It don't matter to me whether the earth is round or flat," Jacob said to Fanshaw one evening in the late winter. "I aint gonna git to the other side nohow."

"Where are you going to get to, old chap?"

"Huh? I've done got there."

"The time has come, now, when we must at last cultivate a topic of discussion which, hitherto, we have avoided: why did you come here and build upon this land?"

"Hit was gittin jist too durn crowded back in Tennessee," Jacob said. "I purt nigh couldn't lift my elbow 'thout hittin somebody and the preachers was so thick a feller couldn't say 'heck' without gittin a sermon fer it."

"But you have never even asked for permission to build here. Stay More is the land of my grandfathers."

" 'Stay More'?"

Fanshaw chuckled. "Yo. That is what I have come to call it."

Jacob Ingledew repeated the name a couple of times, and him-self chuckled. "I reckon that'll do as well as ary other name."

"But you cannot," Fanshaw said.

"Cannot what?"

"Stay more."

"Says who?" Jacob demanded. "You fixin to try to run me off?"

"My grandfathers are buried here."

"My grandchildren will be buried here."

"Ho. Where is their grandmother?"

"I'll find one, by and by."

"Ho."

Then Fanshaw told him the story of the origin of his people. Once upon a time a snail was washed far down the river by floods. He was a good snail but he was alone. Wahkontah, in appreciation of his goodness and in pity for his loneliness, caused the snail to sleep for a long, long time. During the sleep, the snail's entire body was changed. When he awoke he started back into his shell, but it was far too small. Then he looked at himself, and, seeing that he had long legs, he stood up and walked about. As he walked he kept growing. Hair grew on his head, and from his shoulders long, powerful arms grew.

This new creature remembered his former home, and walked far back up the river to the home of the snails, but he could not live with them, and he went in search of some place he could call home. When he grew hungry, Wahkontah gave him a bow and arrow and taught him how to get food. Day by day he went out in search of a home. At last the man, for such he had become, came to the hut of a beaver. The old beaver came out, and said, "Who are you and what do you want?" The man told his story and said he was seeking a home.

The young man and the beaver were about to fight, when the beaver's daughter came out and said she would teach the man to build a house, so that he would not have to trespass on others. To this arrangement the old beaver finally agreed. So the beaver's daughter and the young man went away together, and she taught him how to build a house of bent bois d'arc poles and to thatch it. Because of her kindness, Wahkontah changed the beaver's daughter into a maiden, and she became the squaw wife of the man. These two were the first of the people, and that is why they wear the beaver skin ornament.

"What is the origin of your people?" Fanshaw then asked him. Jacob, although an ungodly man, knew the story of Adam and Eve. He told this to Fanshaw, who listened attentively. When he had finished, Fanshaw said, "I now propose the topic for our next debate: Which is greater, the story of the snail and the beaver or the story of Adam and Eve?"

The two men debated this topic at length. Fanshaw pointed out that while there is a distinct reference to the paraboloid house of the man and woman who were snail and beaver, there is no reference to any sort of house for Adam and Eve, neither before nor after their Fall. What did they live in? Jacob went and fetched his brother Noah's Bible, and read second and third Genesis, but couldn't find any mention of a house, so he had to concede that point to Fanshaw.
His own chief point was that God created Adam in his own image, whereas snails are pretty slow and slimy, and beavers are fat and bucktoothed. They argued that point back and forth until Fanshaw conceded.

So went their debate, and both men realized that what they were actually debating was the beginning of their Great Debate: Who has the right to Stay More, the Indian or the white man? although they did not ever say so in other than metaphorical terms. When it came the usual time for Fanshaw to go back to his lady, and Jacob uttered his ritual "Stay more," Fanshaw replied, "Thank you, I believe I shall," and he stayed a long time.

Truth & the American Way

There was an excellent column in Wednesday's News-Leader written by a local minister, Roger Ray of National Avenue Christian Church. Usually, when ministers start waxing on about "truth" and politics around here, it's another diatribe about the Clintons or how God got kicked out of the schools, blah blah. This article was refreshing - and, of course, in today's paper there was the obligatory rebuttal by a local yayhoo . . . something about Ray's liberal leanings. Yawn.

Here's a snippet of truth from Ray's column:

How can a free people be numbed into accepting a government propaganda campaign that will silence dissent even if it means giving up the names of undercover CIA agents to silence their families and cutting National Public Radio to keep the public uninformed? Are we so easily frightened that we will give up the freedoms our founders gave us, dismembering our democracy under the rubric of a "Patriot Act?"
What happens to a nation that loses its passion for the truth? Well, they get health care policies written by for-profit insurance companies, environmental policies written by mining and timber interests, prescription drug bills written by the pharmaceutical companies, foreign policy designed by military industrial interests, gun policy written by the NRA, and tobacco legislation written by the tobacco industry, energy policy which serves energy interests and preachers who babble like drunks about things that no one understands or cares about.

Thank you, Rev. Ray, for shedding some light. God help me, I may have to start going to church again.

The Search for Humanity in God's Country

For reasons known only to God, the Ozarks Angel has for several years been the recipient of multiple mailings from the Assemblies of God movement. I call it a movement because, in the beginning years at least, it was more of a movement than a church - driven by a charismatic adherence to the Pentecostal system of belief and worship. The congregations were poor to middle-class in those days. One need only check out the parking lot at James River Assembly some Sunday morning to see how that's changed.

The Assemblies of God in 2005 is a large international church and publishing company that hauls in a tidy sum in tax free revenue. It's big business - and let's not even talk about tithes. One can only imagine the holdings in their Ministers Benefit Association fund, which claims that it specifically screens out those companies that are predominately known for and/or derive significant revenues from abortion, alcohol, gambling, pornography, or tobacco. Praise the Lord!

But hold on . . . that sounds sort of neutral, doesn't it? They don't really say they won't invest in companies that gain revenue from tobacco, abortion, gambling and alcohol. It says they won't if these companies are predominantly known to gain revenue from these sinful endeavors. Seems like some equivocation going on here . . . especially for those who proudly adhere to and rely on literal translations when citing other documents.

Anyway, I'm reading up on some resolutions that will pass before the 51st General Council of the Assemblies of God that is coming up in Denver during the first week of August. In a recent mailing, General superintendent Thomas Trask covers some of the talking points at the upcoming convention, and it's clear that the denomination's official positions on abortion and homosexuality are at the forefront.

"It should give us great concern to listen to the verbal attacks of the U.S. liberal media against the newly elected Roman Catholic Church Pope, Benedict XVI, for his strong stand for the doctrines of the church," Trask said. He then characterized the new pope as "the chief custodian of the RCC position on abortion, homosexuality and other controversial issues which liberals were hoping to change with the election of a new pope." Trask went on to say that "the spirit of compromise and tolerance has worked like termites, undermining doctrinal foundations."

Sort of sets a certain tone for the General Council, don't you think? Forget this compromise and tolerance stuff, we're right and they're not! And isn't it interesting to see how common political rhetoric finds its way into church documents? But how nice it is to see the pentecostals are now making nice with Catholics. Around here, it wasn't too long ago they were calling them Catlickers and Mackerel Snappers. I guess all that animosity is now held for gays and unfortunate women.

Back to the General Council. There's a lot of unfinished business on the agenda, most of which deals with honoring various General Presbyters, establishing a Korean District Council and other boring stuff. But a couple of other resolutions were interesting.

Resolution #1 Credentialing of Divorced and Remarried Persons
Resolution #5 Humanity of the Lord Jesus Christ

On divorce, the resolution states that "we maintain a desire to impede the lowering of morality within our churches, where divorce rates approach those of the world . . . " There was some quibbling over pre-conversion and post-conversion divorces until they resolved to "disapprove of any married minister of the Assemblies of God holding credentials if either minister or spouse has a former companion living."

This should either clean up the divorce rate or increase the murder rate among A/G ministers. (Or, if you're one of those brethren who's particularly sensitive to public opinion, you could fake your own abduction, move to Memphis and start up a new life with your girlfriend. More on that story later.)

Resolution #5 is much more political in nature. It's basically the church attempting to clear up some messy language and beliefs regarding the conception and birth of Jesus our Lord in an attempt to blend their political position on abortion and stem cell research with the infallible word of God.

It seems that over the years, as the good brethren have proclaimed from the pulpit the absolute deity and sinlessness of Jesus, they have either implied or asserted that he had no genetic link to any other humans. The local Catholics have a church and school named after this belief . . . Immaculate Conception. While determining all this may seem like a mere technicality, it does become important when the church adopts a public stance on political issues like abortion. It all gets very confusing at this point

"The assertion that the Holy Spirit created the human body of our Lord in the womb of the virgin Mary without using one of her ovary eggs denies that He has human ancestry and . . . this would make Mary a surrogate mother and Jesus a surrogate son."

Surrogate son . . . has a negative ring to it. And it's important, given all the proprietary talk among the righteous about embryos and fetuses, that the church firmly establish that Jesus was made from a human egg. Never before has the egg gained such lofty status.

Recently, on the similar convoluted topic, President Bush held a White House photo-op with a group of conservative Christians in the East Room in an effort to undermine a bill that would have expanded the use of unused embryos from fertility clinics for stem cell research. The children in these families had all been conceived through a Christian adoption agency that promotes the practice of one couple donating its frozen embryos to another.

"The children here today remind us that there is no such thing as a spare embryo," Bush said, evoking a few "Amens" from parents. None other than House Republican leader Tom DeLay was also moved enough to chime in on the matter. "We were all at one time embryos ourselves. So was Abraham. So was Muhammad. So was Jesus of Nazareth," Mr. DeLay said.

Yes, the lines are blurring . . . a church leader complains about the liberal press and quibbles over the wording of a document, while a calloused, cut-throat politician emotes on the lives of Jesus and Mohammad. And all this talk about wombs and fetuses by a bunch of old white guys. What does it all mean?

I saw a bumper sticker that asked a good question about this obsession with pre-birth issues and the fact that most of these espoused pro-lifers are okay with cutting benefits that help poor children.

Does Being Pro-Life

End at Birth?

A Hundred Points of Terror

Back in 2003 when Bush & Co. had already decided to invade Iraq and were busy constructing provocations the American public would buy, many world leaders, allies and enemies alike, spoke out in opposition.

Among them was Egyptian President Hosni Mubarak, one of the more moderate leaders in the region. Mubarak, the first Middle East leader to sign a peace agreement with Israel, has had his own problems cracking down on Islamic fundamentalists in his home country. You might recall that he succeeded Anwar Sadat, who was gunned down by Islamic militants in 1981. Yet under Mubarak's leadership, Egypt joined the anti-Iraq coalition during the 1991 Gulf War and has been a strong U.S. ally for years.

Like the warnings of many world leaders, his pleadings for caution and reason about the impending U.S. invasion fell on deaf ears in the White House - but Mubarak's words come back to haunt two years later.

"When it is over, if it is over, this war will have horrible consequences," Mubarak said in March 2003. "Instead of having one bin Laden, we will have 100 bin Ladens."

He also stated that many Arabs will see this invasion as western aggression against an Arab country and that the war would "cause great tragedy and destruction in a deep-rooted culture and people."

New York, Madrid and now London. While the Pentagon bemoans recruitment problems and re-enlistment continues to fall, rest assured that the U.S., as a result of the Iraq invasion, has greatly boosted the rolls of willing recruits to Islamic extremist factions all over the world.

While it's easy to blame the Bush administration and their GOP lackies for this horrible mess, much of the blame must also fall at the feet of the gutless Democratic Party for chiming in with the war chant out of political expedience - and the mainstream media, which really dropped the ball with their "investigative" coverage of the abject fabrications that led us into this awful war.

Counters - Ads - Costa Rica

Anybody who knows much about blogging can easily recognize that Ozarks Angel isn't being put together by a website expert. Trial and Error is the tested and true approach to this crazy blog thing that sucks me in almost daily.

I don't really like reading blogs that talk about themselves . . . boring. That being said, this blog added a hit counter a week ago and also began running ads from Google a couple of days ago. So far, Ozarks Angel has amassed $0.03 in revenue. I won't be checking the exchange rate in Costa Rica anytime soon.

Some of the ads are interesting - and I thought they might be checking content when they ran a bunch of anti-Bush spots . . . but then I see today it looks like another tired swipe at Bill Clinton ("Shocking stories that Clinton left out of My Life"), a George Bush Store, for god's sake. Ugh! Has the Ozarks Angel given in to the online capitalist system? Let's pray about it together.

The hit counter was a big surprise. Maybe it was the News-Leader blurb or maybe Google search has pulled up some hits. Whatever, 250 hits in a week to a whiny little site that rambles on about vacations on Bull Shoals Lake and lengthy discourses on swollen testicles . . . ain't that bad.

Got a bunch of good stories to tell - so little time.

Freedom to Play it Safe

Am I the only one out here in the hinterland who is sick to death of how our so-called free press has rolled over and played dead during the Bush administration? It seems that our much-heralded watchdogs for truth have lost their appetite for the good fight.

It doesn't make sense. After enduring years of GOP-led scrutiny that exposed Bill Clinton for lying about weighty issues like blowjobs in the Oval Office, the mainstream media takes a nap when Bush & Co. come to Washington and start leading us down the path to massive deficits, growing poverty and protracted war overseas. There seems to be some kind of inverse law of media attention here.

The recent flap over White House leaks that "outed" a covert CIA agent may have finally awakened a few people, especially since the president's own man-behind-the-scenes, Karl Rove, is involved.

It all began when conservative Chicago Sun Times columnist Robert Novak, citing two adminstration sources, named covert CIA operative Valerie Plame. Novak wrote the column in 2003 trying to explain why Bush's state of the union speech hyped up Saddam Hussein's attempt to buy uranium in Africa when his own diplomatic emissary had already reported that this was not the case.

It's curious that Novak tried to soft-pedal the story in much the same way Rove did to the Time reporter, by implying that the diplomat, Joseph Wilson, was sent there by his CIA agent wife - and the Bush administration really didn't know much about it. Are we suppose to believe that Wilson went to Africa at his wife's behest? "Honey, would you mind going to Niger and checking out that uranium report for me?" Gimme a break. No, they had to discredit Wilson somehow because he refused to tell them what they wanted to hear and, worse, had publicly criticized their efforts to tilt intelligence reports while building a case for invading Iraq.

Another curious thing about this story . . . how is it that reporters Judith Miller and Matthew Cooper get hammered by the grand jury prosecutor for not revealing their sources, but Robert Novak, who started the whole thing, doesn't even get a dishonorable mention? Cooper was let off the hook by none other than Karl Rove, who admitted that he was the source for the Time story. Miller was found in contempt of court and could face four months in jail for protecting her sources.

Ms. Miller, by the way, is hardly a non-partisan in all this. Her pre-war hyping of weapons of mass destruction and germ warfare was right on script with Bush's war mongering after 9/11. My guess is that her source, and perhaps Novak's as well, is either Rove or Cheney . . . and we can't have old Dick getting too much air time on this. Miller, no doubt, is proud to have become a media martyr and gain big points with the Bushies. Her next book should do well.

When Novak's column first shed light on the CIA leak, Bush blustered that anyone caught leaking classified info would be fired. That simply won't happen - not Rove. They'll find a way around it because Bush wouldn't know what to say or do without the guy. And the media will be there to cushion it all for us.

The Sand Bar

I know it sounds corny, but here are a few images of our recent vacation down to Bull Shoals Lake. My favorite area of the lake has a sand bar that, the locals say, usually emerges later in the summer when the lake is down a bit. Since it's underwater most of the year, the vegetation isn't too thick. While we were there, the sand bar was about half a mile long, and you could walk barefoot on the sand out into the lake for another 300 feet or so. From a distance, it looks like you're walking on water. Damn, I should have gotten a picture of that. Many a boater has been fooled by this sandy phenomenon, running their boats full bore onto the sand.

On weekends, kids and adults drive four-wheelers and gators and whatnot from one end to the other - but during the week, we had it almost exclusively to ourselves. We found several broken arrowheads in the sand.

The Washingtonienne

I can't even remember how I ran across this little piece of Americana. Jessica Cutler's funny, short-lived blog (created right here on Blogspot) wasn't exactly politically correct - and it revealed more than some people were able to handle about the underbelly of sex and power in our nation's capital - or as she called it, Hollywood for the Ugly. I particularly liked the part where she described her work task of lumping up incoming mail from constituents and discarding them in the trash bin. "And people actually think they read these," she quips. Monica Lewinsky she ain't

I don't know the whole story, but it really wasn't that difficult for somebody in D.C. to figure out who she was, where she worked - and she was, of course, summarily fired. The last entry says something about how her boss was wanting to see her.

The notoriety hasn't hurt Ms. Cutler much. She's already posed for Playboy and published a novel. At one point she says, "I just want to be a jewish wife with a big rock on my finger." Wonder what the odds are of that happening.

Makes me want to write up some stuff about my workplace. There's plenty of material, but I don't think people would find it that interesting. Plus, I might get fired - and I wouldn't get paid to pose nude, nor would there be a book deal, though the story might be funny enough. There's just no upside. I'd just be a poor son-of-a-bitch out of work with a bunch of people pissed at me.

Here's the link: http://washingtoniennearchive.blogspot.com/

As If Things Weren't Bad Enough . . .

A recent study published in the journal Environmental Health Perspectives finds that pregnant women who are exposed to a very common class of household chemicals known as phthalates may give birth to boys with suppressed levels of hormones involved in male sexual development.

Phthalates are commonly found in cosmetics, perfumes, soaps, shampoos, hair sprays, nail polish, detergents, medicine coatings and plastic food packaging. Phthalates are not commonly noted on labels.

The study found a higher-than-average correlation between levels of phthalates in birth mothers and abnormal genital development in their babies. Baby boys were more likely to have smaller penises, smaller scrotums and a higher incidence of undescended testicles. The findings were consistent with studies done with lab rats.

"These changes in humans associated with prenatal exposure to some of the same phthalate metabolites that cause such alterations in male rodents suggest that these widely used phthalates may undervirilize humans as well as rodents," the authors write.

(After all these years, I've finally found a reason to be glad that Mom was a good old fashioned Pentecostal girl. No makeup, no hair spray. Praise the Lord!)

Hammons Field

Baseball Downtown

I know this site is dedicated to whining and complaining about life in Springfield, but the obvious fact remains that we're still here, so there must be something good to say about this place (despite the fact that it's heavily populated by super-conservative, judgemental, right-wing, pro-lifer Christian Republican types) . . . and now, I have the definitive answer.

It's baseball.

I took my daughter to a Springfield Cardinals baseball game at Hammons Field last week, and I realized that my town has finally come of age. Firmly planted in the center of town, we now have a beautiful jewel of a baseball field that lights up the summer nights - and we have a real team, the Springfield Cardinals.

The food was great, the game was exciting, the fans cared about the outcome, the field was perfect as only a well-manicured baseball field can be . . . and I had to pinch myself. Am I really in Springfield?

I almost have to choke to get this out, but thanks John Q.

Middle School Mind

A student in a middle school Exploratory class asked a provocative question last week. It was newspaper day, a day to catch up on current events. The teacher limits them to the "A" section, which is mostly national and international news. There was, of course, a headline about the war in Iraq, something about how the carnage was getting worse.

Nobody knew the word carnage, so it became the word of the day. On the blackboard in big letters, carnage. One of the students grabbed a dictionary and read to the class, "Carnage, the slaughter of many people." Ew, slaughter.

"So, exactly why is our army in Iraq?" That was the question. And the teacher, who had always prided himself in being open and honest with this inquisitive group of middle school anarchists, was on the spot.

He took them back to the year many of them were born. In 1991, the United States, under the leadership of George Bush the elder, sent some 140,000 American trooops to Kuwait to push back an Iraqi force that had invaded that oil-rich country. This was the war called Desert Storm, and it placed Iraqi's dictator, Saddam Hussein, firmly on stage as America's enemy, a really bad guy.

The cause for war was a story the kids seemed to like:
Saddam was convinced that the Kuwaitis were drilling lateral lines under the Iraqi border and sucking up some of his black gold that the Americans and others coveted so dearly. Oil had made Saddam Hussein, along with several other Arab dictators, a very wealthy man. Since he already had a huge active military from a recent war with Iran (in which the Americans sided with Saddam and provided military intelligence), it was relatively easy to march his army through Kuwait, a country that really had no viable military.

The short version has the American army, which had the complete backing of the United Nations, defeating the Iraqi forces in short order, sending them scurrying back to Baghdad in disarray. What's disarray? They were all messed up and confused.

At this time, George Bush the elder had an important decision to make. Does he follow the advice of some of his generals and advisors and push the American military into Baghdad and bring down Saddam? Or does he follow the advice of other generals and advisors who say pull out and let the United Nations impose laws and restrictions on this bad guy, Saddam Hussein.

The generals who opposed invading Baghdad warned of a long, bloody fight that could go on for years - a fight that would alienate the world of Islam and cause instability in an already volatile part of the world, not to mention possibly leave thousands of American soldiers dead. George Bush, the elder, decided to play it safe and bring the troops home.

From that point the United Nations, with a lot of help from the U. S., imposed all kinds of restrictions on Saddam Hussein. He was in a big "time out" - couldn't fly military jets around, couldn't trade oil freely, and inspectors were sent in to make sure he wasn't up to more mischief with "weapons of mass destruction" and the like.

Things went along like this for ten years or so with a few little flair ups. Saddam would bluster against the U. S., and of course, he tried to cheat on all the rules - something middle schoolers understand well.

At this point, the teacher asked the class what big event occurred in 2001 that changed everything. A couple of hands went up immediately. 9/11. Yup.

"So, Saddam Hussein got his revenge on us with 9/11," a student commented. The teacher asked for a show of hands. How many believe this to be the case? Twenty hands shot up - about 2/3 of the class. A couple of kids were sleeping.

From this point the discussion took a sudden turn, and the teacher had to be more careful about how the story was presented. Don't want these little young Republicans thinking there is indoctrination goin' on in the classroom. Or worse yet, having junior spouting off at home.

"Mr. Smith says the invasion of Iraq was planned before 9/11 and that Saddam Hussein had nothing to do with 9/11, and that George Bush and his buddies knew how angry the American people were after 9/11 and took advantage of the timing to get support for invading Iraq."

No, the teacher didn't want that kind of talk around suburban dinner tables.

The discussion continued, a few facts disseminated, and the class came to the conclusion that Osama bin Laden, operating out of bases in Afghanistan, was responsible for 9/11. Didn't we catch him? No, he's still free. This seemed to bother a few of them. One student insisted he had been caught.

It occurred to the teacher that this is exactly how the war in Iraq has gone down with the American people - or at least enough of them to get Bush re-elected. News blurbs here and there, confusion over who's who and what's where. Our lives aren't really touched by this war, and most Bush supporters are disturbed when the media tries to tell us about it in any detail. No bodies please. It makes us uncomfortable.

So, based on the newspaper day discussion in Exploratory class, one could conclude that we are at war in Iraq more out of ignorance than duty and that our busy lives won't allow us the time nor the inclination to find the truth behind the spin. This is how history is made more often than not. Lessons learned, lessons unlearned.

Faith & Finances

The Ozarks Angel ran across an interesting piece of promotional material from one of Springfield's most influential and affluent businesses the other day. The slick new publication, only in its second year, is entitled Faith and Finances, Directing God-Given Resources to God-Given Goals.

The Assemblies of God puts this thing out and sends it to ministers and churches in an effort "to be the preferred provider of superior integrated financial services to Assemblies of God churches, affiliated ministries, ministers, and laity distinguished by a commitment to biblical stewardship."

Shew. Somebody worked hard on that one - and my, how the language of the church has changed over the years, and note the lower case 'b' in biblical. That's new. But it all makes sense. The more money the faithful make as faithful stewards, the more tax free income the church gets. And you can forget about the image of the collection plate - now tithes are automatically deducted from checking accounts. Someone told me recently that you now must pay a healthy fee ($3,000) to become a full-fledged member of certain mega churches like James River Assembly. Sort of like joining the country club, I guess. I wonder if they check your credit report first.

Anyway, the lead article in this bit of righteous propaganda is cleverly entitled "Social Insecurity". The piece is written by Randall K. Barton, who is president and CEO (yes, CEO) of Assemblies of God Financial, but it reads like a Karl Rove-approved position paper, copied and pasted directly from Bush's script on Social Security "reform". Right wing Christians have become so politicized they apparently feel the need to tout their official positions on domestic policy as though they were drawn from the scriptures. Lots of people find that scary.

Were you one of those people who thought that the religious right was just going to be a flash in the pan? That they would dry up and go away after the initial rush of putting their man in the White House and controlling the U. S. Congress? Think again, brethren and cistern.

The line that once separated church and state in this country is not just blurred, it's in the process of being obliterated altogether. This is the single biggest threat, in my opinion, to the existence of the good old U. S. of A. It's being loved to death, prayed to death, preached to death and pro-lifed to death by a self-righteous Christian minority, who despite all their faults, do get out the vote. (Of course, their man lost in 2000, but the Lord, who often works in mysterious ways, somehow prevailed.)

Another interesting point about AG Financial. Remember how the Christian right got all worked up over Terry Schiavo? Remember Frist's speech? Tom Delay? Remember Bush cutting his vacation short (Gasp!) in order to underscore the importance that Congress should step in to keep this renegade judge from "legislating from the bench"? All this acting out to stroke the righteous pro-lifers out there . . . and then, here's a nice full-color ad on the back of Faith and Finances that says:

As the nation has been focused on the Terry Schiavo case, did you know . . . that an estimated 20,000 to 30,000 adults in the U. S. are in a vegetative state? That an estimated 165,000,000 American adults do not have a living will?

The ad then directs the reader to contact a Faith and Finances website that will help them set up their own Living Will, as a gift to your family.

Is this not an admission that even these self-proclaimed pro-lifers would just as soon have their own feeding tubes yanked if they were in the same straits as Ms. Schiavo? So what was all the protesting about? After dragging Terry Schiavo's husband through the third level of hell, they admit that he was right all along? More evidence that there is very little conviction behind the noise.

At the bottom of the ad, there is a nice little Bible verse from Ecclesiastes 3:1.

"To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under heaven."

I read that in an entirely different context than they intended, and I find it comforting.

Ashcroft Estates

There is a new subdivision in North Springfield. Ashcroft Estates - named after Springfield's favorite son.

That's right. If you would like the comforts of Ozarks living along with repressed sexuality, imagined persecution and trumped up paranoia, Ashcroft Estates is the place for you.

Located North on Grant past I-44 and Hillcrest High School, Turn Right (of course) on Farm Road 96 and follow to Farm Road 159.

You can't miss it. Look for the fully-clothed, flag draped statues! Starting at $144,000.

Police Ethics, an Oxymoron?

There was an interesting article in the News-Leader this week about how Springfield police chief Lynn Rowe felt it necessary to bring in an outside consultant as "a second pair of eyes" to watch over a rather sticky internal affairs matter at SPD. Internal affairs is investigating how the routine drug bust of Mayor Carlson's son, Thomas, was put on a fast track so that the results from the state crime lab would beat the April election deadline. There was no apparent reason why a routine investigation like this would warrant fast track status.

Mayor Carlson, who had opposed a police pay increase in recent months, has not been a favorite over at headquarters, and county prosecutor Darrell Moore smelled something fishy when he received a probable cause statement the day before the mayoral election. He elected to withhold charges for a couple of weeks, and Carson easily won re-election.

Chief Rowe was clearly rankled by Moore's insinuation that somebody over at SPD headquarters rushed the lab results in order to sway the April mayoral election. An internal affair investigation ensued, but apparently Rowe felt his own department was incapable of producing an impartial report. So, enter Steve Rothlein, number two man with the Miami-Dade County department.

Let's get this straight. SPD is having an internal investigation that may involve improprieties and unethical acts within the SPD, and we're bringing in somebody from Miami to make sure everything smells right? Pardon me while I guffaw. I don't know which is worse, the obvious intention to sway an election or Chief Rowe's ridiculous attempt to bring credibility to the investigation by adding another layer of bullshit.

Of course, the guy from Miami won't be involved in the actual investigation. Rowe isn't trying to suggest that his own Internal Affairs office is too corrupted to issue an honest report on this matter. "The fact that we're bringing someone in from the outside does not speak at all to my confidence in our own staff's ability to do this," he reassures.

No, Rowe just doesn't want to appear as "judge, juror and executioner", which translates to "I just want to make sure my own rosy ass is well-covered." And what does this guy make a year?

Rothlein, for his part, assures us that he will not be a "rubber stamp" in this investigation. "I'm not going to risk my reputation for that."

Shew! What a relief. This complete stranger from Miami will not be risking his reputation while visiting our fair city. But then, why risk anything for a measly $7,100, which is the maximum payment provided for his non-rubber stamp of approval?

Yup, like every other blue-clad individual involved in this matter, his reputation remains intact.

Epididymiserable, Part II

I stepped into the ultrasound room and was instructed by Brunhilda to change out of my clothes into one of those tacky hospital gowns. "The opening is in the back. Just put your arms through the holes and tie it in back," she said. Great, another humorless nurse, this one with man hands that look like they could crush walnuts into fine dust.

The bathroom was frigid. I left my socks on in hopes that a tiny bit of insulation against the cold floor would be just enough to keep my rapidly contracting scrotum from displacing my genitals into the intestinal tract. What had I done to deserve this? I asked myself.

I opened the door slowly and saw the hulking image of my nurse slumping on a stool while gazing intently into a monitor. She tapped at a keyboard, adjusting the ultrasound device. The blue glow cast her face in a particularly sinister light. I suddenly felt as though I were in a Mel Brooks movie. "Just lay down on the table and place this towel under your scrotum so that it's propped up," she directed without taking her eyes from the screen.

Then, without looking, she handed me a small white wash rag and instructed me to raise my penis up and hold the rag tight across it, presumably to keep it from dangling down into the image area. Given the temperature in the room, this would not be a factor, but I withheld any comment. My hands were cold, and I had a bit of trouble holding the edges of the washrag. After a couple of tries, I had everything in place, penis firmly held at bay, testicles propped up on towel.

At this point, I felt a slight tingle or itch on the side of my dick but resisted the urge to scratch. The itch persisted, and since the nurse seemed intent on adjusting her readings, I deftly reached down with my left hand to scratch it. I don't know how she even heard the fabric move, but in an instant she jerked her head and looked me directly in the eye. I promptly withdrew my hand. Whoa! Did she think I was playing with myself? I wanted to say something, but wisely kept silent.

I hate to punish the reader with more details of this experience, but I feel I must go on for the sake of closure. After a couple of minor adjustments to the towel beneath my nutsack, the nurse began spreading a cool, clear slimy substance over the aforementioned area and proceeded to slowly move the ultrasound camera, or whatever its called, over the entire surface. This took several minutes. She tapped at the keyboard a regular intervals and actually handled things quite well. After a few minutes, I felt relieved. This woman knew what she was doing. I was in good hands, so to speak.

We didn't speak, but I began to feel secure in her care. However, about halfway through the procedure I raised my head up and caught a blurred glimpse of the monitor. "Look, it's a boy," I quipped. Before she could catch herself, she let out a little snort, and then resumed her stolid bent toward the monitor. I felt proud. It was perhaps the high moment of my six hour stay at the Urgent Care Center. Swollen testicle and all, I had made Brunhilda emit a mirthful snort while dutifully performing an ultrasound. Ha!

The ultrasound was over and after wiping the slime off my swollen nutsack, I dressed and returned to my original waiting room for the results to be read by the doctor. A few minutes later, I was called back and told that I didn't have any tumors, which I have to admit was a great relief. The doctor prescribed some antibiotics and told me the nurse would be in soon to give a shot. "I'm sorry to say, this one will hurt," she said. I wasn't scared. A man with testicles the size of avacados fears nothing.

A new nurse, this one cute and energetic, entered the room. "I'm sorry, bud, but I have to give you this bad boy in your hip," she said. She had me lean up against the counter and lower my pants. "You're going to have to relax that cute little butt," she said while patting the targeted spot. It occurred to me that a male would never get away with such talk to a female patient, but I found it pleasing to finally meet somebody in this place with a personality. "You're too tight, gotta loosen up," she said. We argued about this for a minute, and then, as if tired of messing with me, she jammed the thing into my butt like a long distance dart thrower.

The shot was every bit as bad as advertised. I could feel the antibiotic spread through my ass and down my leg like thick molasses, and they were right, it hurt like hell. The shot required me to sit for thirty minutes as a precaution for any reaction. Finally, after six hours on the Medical Mile, I had overcome swollen testicles and now an incredibly sore ass, to slowly limp my way out to the comfort of my truck. I sat there for a while watching traffic zoom up and down National, thinking about how, like everything else, pain was relative.

Epididymiserable

The epididymis is a long, tightly coiled tube that lies behind each testicle. It mainly collects sperm made by the testicles, which seems simple enough. However, when the epididymis becomes infected - this can happen for no good reason or can be sexually transmitted - there is severe pain, swelling of the scrotum, fever and general malaise due to the fact that your balls ache and you can't have sex for a good long while.

Today, I sit listing slightly to the left as I type out these notes. What a predicament! The doctor, a woman, says, "If you were a younger man, I'd have you tested for chlimydia." Well, I took that as an afront. What did she mean? If I were a younger man . . . did she mean that since I'm 54 I couldn't possibly be sexually active? I could get climydia, damn it! Anyway, I don't have climydia (can't spell it either). Been with the same lovely woman for quite a while, and although she may now find my oversized nut a bit of a putoff, I think we'll be okay.

So, I sit atop an icepack that rests just under my right testicle, sipping water, waiting for the antibiotic to work its magic. This after yesterday's six hour stay at the Urgent Care center down on Medical Mile. Medical Mile - that's what the locals call a stretch of building on Springfield's south side that house a plethora of clinics, hospitals and health insurance companies, many housed in shiny new-age looking architectural wonders.

When you step in one of these structures, you have entered into a world that many people find comforting and reaffirming . . . a clean inner-world of doctors, nurses, clinicians, gleaming medical technology, and of course, the obligatory drug salespeople who prance about pulling wheeled travel bags full of tempting new samples. "Ask your doctor about Lipitor." These are the real drug pushers in American society. Clean, neat, snappily dressed. Where would we be without them?

Not having been to the doctor in several years, I had to marvel at the pace and activity. I mean, this was just one little clinic along the Mile and there were literally hundreds of people seeking medical attention just minutes after the doors opened. These people had been through this so often, they were trance-like in their obedience and purpose . . . take a number, sit . . . and they would sit for hours waiting to be called for this test or that, this exam or that consultation. I was there for six hours resting uncomfortably on my swollen nut.

Since cancer and the fear of cancer is all-pervasive in our world, I was directed to the Radiology wing for an ultrasound. One can't be too careful with bumps and swollen nodules these days. I sat with a small multitude of women awaiting their turn for breast x-rays. A lone swollen testicle in a room full of anxious boobies. While waiting, I checked out the abundance of breasts that surrounded me, not in a lascivious way, but more as a curiosity. There were no fewer than thirty-four breasts about to be pressed and zapped in the next few minutes, all shapes and sizes. I resisted the urge to think about the variety of nipple types. The nurses routinely called out names with tired voices, and the women rose one at a time, some with great difficulty, and walked back into the recesses of the X-Ray wing. I wondered about the nurses . . . they seemed bored with breasts. They knew very well that most of these women were fine, were just there as a precaution, perhaps out of boredom themselves.

I started wondering about quality of life issues. An extremely large woman waddled in and sat next to me. I tried to adjust myself to allow more room, but the flab on the back of her arms overflowed into my space. I was stricken by how cool her arm felt. Bad circulation, I thought to myself. The woman was called just minutes later as the breast exam assembly line seemed to be geared up a little better than the ultrasound group. She pushed herself up with her arms and with no small effort reached behind to release her mammoth khakis from her crack, and proceeded to make way toward the calling nurse. I could see the cellulite ebbing and flowing beneath her pants, but she was here to have her breasts examined, nothing wrong with her ass apparently. She would be exhausted afterwards, I could tell.

My name was finally called out by a stocky, rural looking nurse. She looked as though she had perhaps handled the testicles of farm animals at some point in her life, which made me feel just a bit uneasy.