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Sunday, March 10, 2019

Short Take: Religion, Capitalism & Political Power

Christian/Military yard ornament. Wal-Mart, Springfield, Missouri

There are three enormous constructs that serve to inhibit and discourage a robust pursuit of happiness in America today. Here's a short take on the current state of Religion, Capitalism and Political Power from here in God's Country (next to the super center).




1. Religion

First of all, you are cursed with a sinful nature and have fallen far short of the glory of God.

Far short. 
Hell awaits you. 
Your flesh will burn, and you'll suffer in agony for eternity.
Unless
You become born again.
It's way easier than it sounds.
Believe me.
*Rules may vary.




2. Capitalism

You suck! 

Really, you do. 
The mirror is not your friend. 
You're not very smart
Even when it's obvious you are being conned, you fall for it. 
Because you suck. 
You don't have enough money. 
You should smell better and have whiter teeth. 
They're crooked, by the way. 
The drugs you should be asking your doctor about 
May cause you to have oily stools
And perhaps make you suicidal.
If you aren't already. 
Consolidating your debt could help.




3. Political Power

You are surrounded by threats to your safety. 
You should probably own a gun.
Several guns.
It's that bad.
Thank God (see #1 above) for our troops,
And the immigration police 
And first responders
Who sacrifice what could be more useful lives
To protect your freedom 
To become a better consumer (see #2).
We hold these truths to be self evident
All men are created equal.
Some are threats to your safety.
You should probably own a gun.

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