Short Take: Religion, Capitalism & Political Power

Christian/Military yard ornament. Wal-Mart, Springfield, Missouri

There are three enormous constructs that serve to inhibit and discourage a robust pursuit of happiness in America today. Here's a short take on the current state of Religion, Capitalism and Political Power from here in God's Country (next to the super center).

1. Religion*

First of all, you are cursed with a sinful nature 

You have fallen far short of the Glory of God
Far short

Not even close

Hell awaits you

Your flesh will burn

You will suffer in agony for eternity
Unless

You become Born Again™️
Far less traumatic than first time
Believe me

*Rules may vary.

You Suck!

You Should Fix That

2. Capitalism

You suck! 
In so many ways 
The mirror is not your friend
You're not very smart
Even when it's obvious you are being conned 

You fall for it every time

Because you suck
You don't have enough money 
You could smell better 

Your teeth aren't white enough

And they are crooked

The drugs you should be asking your doctor about 
May cause you to have oily stools
And perhaps make you suicidal
If you aren't already

Consolidating your debt could help

3. Political Power

You are surrounded by threats to your safety 
You should probably own a gun
Several guns
It's that bad

Thank God (see #1 above) for our troops
And the immigration police 
And first responders
Who sacrifice what could be more useful lives
To protect your freedom 
To become a better consumer (see #2)

We hold these truths to be self evident
All men are created equal

That's what we say
Some are threats to your safety
You should probably own a gun